Fly on WallStreet

It's been a while since I last held the distinguished office of Weekend Blogger. I can't say that I actually missed it, but due to my financial situation I wasn't in any position to turn down "The Fly's" most recent (and most generous) offer. You see, things sort of took a turn for the worse after I was "shitcanned" for intentionally posting during a weekday. Here's what happened:

After losing my only source of income as a senior weekend blogger assistant apprentice, I soon found myself desperate for money. No longer able to make good on my twenty-some-odd child support payments nor satisfy my addiction to huffing industrial solvents, I was eventually thrown into debtor's prison after my food stamps arbitrage fund imploded-- due to a "repricing of risk" in the Financial Assistance markets.

Naturally, the collapse of my firm triggered a full-blown panic throughout our nation's housing projects-- bursting the speculative bubble that had for several decades showcased the excessiveness and greed of the poor (or "sharks"). Food stamps, which had at one point commanded as many as seven bus tokens or even a fifth of Everclear, were now as worthless as a Lightning Round stock pick.

Times were tough for those who were heavily exposed to the poverty markets. As Jemal "You are...NOT the father!" Jenkins, a once affluent floor trader at the Marcy Projects Financial Assistance Exchange, explained to CNBC reporter Maria Bartiromo, "Real talk, this some bullshit, son. Those cats done did some sellin', right-- an' now we rollin' all financially impoverished an' shit. So now we needs to get back to stackin' dem papers by hustlin' fake jewelery outside of Burger King an' shit. You fell me?"

While I was enduring my own hardships in jail, Fly was kind enough to send me "The Forgotten Man" by Amity Shlaes. Despite the absence of any weapon or means of escape from prison hidden within the text, the book itself wasn't too bad. So at some point this weekend, I'll attempt to bring you another book review. But in keeping with my own precedent, the odds that I'll actually talk about the book or even anything that has to do with it are slim to none. What's worse, I can hardly guarantee that I'll even get around to making another post this weekend. Hell, I don't even know if this post is "legal".

# posted by Jeremy @ 4:05 AM