Saturday, June 09, 2007
SEARCH FOR MONSTER JAVA
Fuckin' youtube. I had to pick youtube, despite its poorer quality, because my video would have been rejected at the door if I had used revver--total fucking shame that is, because then I would have been paid some small fee per click. Unfortunately, their copyright protection is more stringent than youtube's, as they require that even the music used in the video be legally owned. I sadly reveal that I don't own the rights to The Doors, Led Zeppelin, Wu-Tang, and Ludacris, whose glorious musical works I tastefully sampled. Not yet, at least, and when they are mine, I will license them to the Apple iStore.
Some key facts about the video that you, the viewer, may find useful:
- I sincerely apologize for misspelling "harness" near the end of the video. I noticed it after I compressed it, and didn't want to wait an hour to compress it again. I'm sure you'll understand, as this single post cost $60 and was more work than any other post from any other person who has a blog and comes here. Except maybe Howard, but his budget is higher.
- Cameraman quit after one day, and he filmed everything with horrible exposure. I had to use a tripod to film at the beach. Regarding the girl at the end, I coincidentally ended up vaguely knowing her through mutual friends and she invited me back to her apartment to drink. I did get her number. That was a stroke of good luck. Great success! The other girls were totally random.
- A lot of dudes wanted free drinks and they got 'em. Like, I was basically accosted. "Dude, you work for monster?" "Is this a movie" [Ed. note: yeah, it is, can't you see all the lights and the catering and the actors? Fucking beach idiots] "Can I have a drink?" --Sure, they liked em, but fortunately, this wasn't a film about what men like. TG can make that movie.
- NO ONE, NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON HAD HEARD OF MONSTER JAVA. HANS, DISTRIBUTE I think I make this clear in the video too. There seems to be an interested market of 20-somethings who want to drink this.
- The scenes that didn't make it into the movie were more telling, they just lacked entertainment value. The girls denied to be interviewed mainly because they were too busy, didn't want to be on camera, or didn't like energy drinks. The one girl who didn't like coffee was still willing to try the drink because she liked energy drinks. This leads me to believe that "energy drinks" have a bad connotation among more health-conscious people, who view them as either unhealthy or fattening, and perhaps java should avoid the "energy drink" labeling. People don't associate coffee as something harmful health-wise, and they already know coffee gives you energy. I found the percentage of people who dislike coffee is low.
- Everyone agreed on one thing, whether they loved it or hated it: How gross it didn't taste. Some people were like, "Monster...Coffee? (with a 'gross' face)" So this again lends credence to my belief that Hansen should market this as NOT an energy drink, but something totally different. Perhaps it's complimentary to Hansen that the mere mention of an "energy drink" instantly evoked in the listener the flavor of Monster. But, it is detrimental that they know this flavor so well--it is in congruence with the "gross" face that always popped up at the mention of such a combo. Mixing Monster and coffee would indeed be fucking gross. Everyone expressed that same initial reaction: "Wow, this wasn't gross at all, I like it," or, "Wow, this wasn't as bad as I thought, but I still don't like it for XYZ reason."
Another reason they need to market it different is that it may help reduce cannibalization--if as a consumer I know that Java could replace an energy drink (Monster) I would never buy Monster shit again. That would do waaay more harm than good, because I believe Java is that much better tasting than regular Monster. I really has to be marketed differently. Maybe it already is, but since I haven't seen any ads for it yet, I am unsure of what their angle is, but I sure hope it's different.
- I think they definitely have a huge Starbucks killer here. I was asking people as they left a Starbucks if they liked it, and they did, even with the SBUX's coffee fresh in their mouths.
This isn't the best video, but certainly nowhere near the worst video I've ever made. I learned a lot, and am now MORE comfortable with my large HANS position. I feel like I saw their version of a PicoP, and I am renewed in my excitement for the company and stock going forward. I see this drink refueling the energized growth rate it enjoyed a few years ago, growth, I might add, that few analysts foresee returning to HANS. As we saw from AAPL, predicting the near-obvious before myopic analysts is always a winning combination. Long live the Java, SBUX killer!!!
Friday, June 08, 2007
Cramer Passes on MVIS
Via Real Money, then directed to Stockpickr.com
I was wondering if you could comment on my
favorite spec Microvision (MVIS). They have a
tiny projector that can be embedded into a
cellphone/laptop/etc. They have run up quite a
lot on impending deal(s) with major cellphone
manufacturer(s). This thing is heavily shorted,
and I am betting on a nice short squeeze. I am
up ~60% already, but I am young and can stand to
lose the money (12% of my portfolio), so I'd
like to stick it out. I am thinking that they
can actually become a viable, profitable company
within 2 years.
Do you have any thoughts?
pass on this one, dont know it
Unfortunately, even once the video is done, compressing it (not with DIVX) and uploading it onto the web will take another six some-odd hours. For that reason, ETA is Saturday, but if it is Sunday, well, then, so be it. You have nothing better to do or live for in the mean time, and will most likely be jacking it, so I'd just fucking accept it.
As for a post today, I am trying to finish the aforementioned cinematic masterpiece, so I am forced to plagiarize from myself. If they sue, I will be fucked. Sorry if you've already read that article, but I don't have the time write something glorious if I'm hard at work on a video for all you internets ritards.
Apple, one of Flyseph's core holdings, has been shitting on the faces of the shorts for some time now. I, for one, was fully aware of that glory before every Tom, Dick, and Harry analyst started to give the stock oral on CNBC. My price target for that steaming heap of Job's filled glory? - $366, and that's dollars, not bolivianos. I think that target may be here sooner than 2012 if it gets a serious premium multiple again, but I don't count on shit like that.
Some things have changed though since I wrote that story. Now, Apple is encouraging people to make it a media centerpiece. It has enabled a youtube connection, and I don't think it is long before they really make an attempt at getting a lot more content on there from the cable and movie networks. They realized, probably by reading my blog, that I was right--we need all those shows and movies at our fingertips, and we need it in HD otherwise it's not as cool. Low switching cost + high new features = blockbuster product. So, if they can fix some of the features that I thought the iTV logically would have, but didn't, like no HDTV, no good shows, then we got a fuck-the-shorts type of situation, not to mention the iphone possibilities.
I also feel really strongly that the 2009 digital TV switch will make everyone a "home theatre enthusiast/expert," and such an "expert" will obviously need max functionality, capability, and coolness. Apple has all of that with enough left over to make your midget sister look cool.
Anyway, read the article, watch the video tomorrow/Sunday, and suck my fucking nuts. See you next time.
Staind: Open Your Eyes (Live)
Today, in a rage of anger, I went fucking psycho in my office, breaking a monitor and verbally abusing everyone in sight-- thanks to ARWR's plunge.
But, now, I am happy like a rabbit in a carrot factory (I realize there is no such thing, dick), as all of my other positions broke the legs of those who short them.
From MVIS to BBY to CN to MRVL to DNA to HANS to LNN to ALCO to FMCN to EQIX, I banked coin.
Trust me when I tell you, the bears are weak, old and stupid. Plus anyway, they do not have the internal fortitude to stay short, without pissing their pants or shitting the shower.
My point is: for all the hype and talk about the market being extended, the fact is, we are only up 6.5%-- year to date. Big fucking deal.
As the economy improves and corporate profits increase, we can be up 25% by Christmas. If so, I will personally fly to New Zealand, track Ducati down like the dog that he is, and throw eggs at him. By the way, should MVIS print $6, Ducati will owe "The Fly" 10 bucks. We have an ongoing bet. Further, since I do not accept "internet money," I have requested he send it to one of my readers (loyal fucktards).
As you know, the big winners today were found in the Semi's, Metals and Homebuilders.
Finally, if a shot gun were put to my head, in order to extract one stock pick, I'd say: "sir, shoot me if you must, but before you do, go long MRVL."
NOTE: Be sure to visit this site over the weekend. The one who calls himself "Danny," has promised to produce the best blog post ever, in the history of all the internets. If not, voting will resume, Sunday evening.
Short Seller Gives Pep Talk to Fellow Short Sellers
Quick Alert: Bears Dead, Again
As long as the short interest stays at historic highs, every dip will be met with a short covering rally-- until a major shift in sentiment dominates investor psyche.
In my opinion, there is a good chance we are heading back to new highs. Everyone is expecting the market to go down. Shit doesn't work that way.
Come Monday morning, if we get another private equity deal, this market will melt the shorts-- like a candle.
Aside from that, I broke one of my monitors today, during ARWR's nosedive.
Fly Buy: ARWR
UPDATE: I bought 5,000 @ $6.40
Disclaimer: If you buy ARWR because of this post, Mother Market will break your nose. And, you may lose money.
Fly Buy: HANS
Disclaimer: If you buy HANS because of this post, your only daughter will marry Herb Greenberg. And, you may lose money.
"Go get me a juice box"
Sector Spotlight: Networkers
Anyway, I will not chase stocks today. However, I will buy LLNW. Long term, I feel LLNW will be a terrific stock to own.
Thus far, on the back of NSM's great numbers, tech stocks are leading the charge higher. Naturally, the bear fuckers will try to derail the rally, with their fucktarded short sales. In my opinion, the tone of today's trading will be etched in stone, by 10:30.
With LLNW coming public, keep a close eye on the Networkers. So far, INFN, AKAM, OPXT, SDXC, SVVS and CIEN have decent momentum.
In short, I do not trust the market and prefer it to go down another 500 points, so that I can resume killing short sellers or kicking down old people down empty elevator shafts (as you know, old people are the short sellers).
As of right now, I will not add to existing positions. Fuck HANS, ARWR, CORS and the rest of the God forsaken stocks that lose me money, over the past week ("The Fly" has little patience for under performance).
All I need is MVIS.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Onyx: Shut 'Em Down
With regards to the "interest rate worries," it's all bullshit. Remember a few months back when every Tom, Dick and Jane was prophetically predicting the death of equities, thanks to the "yen carry trade" unraveling?
Bullshit is what happened.
Look you, every so often the market corrects. When these corrections occur, the dickbags at CNBC look for a catalyst to hype-- and scare people to death with. Additionally, many of these trumped up fears start feeding on itself and gain momentum, via domino effect.
In short, the fucking rates will go lower, eventually. In the meantime, prepare to have your hair shaved off and your brain taken out of your head, if you are subject to CNBC's asshattery.
With my money, I intend on buying HANS, CORS, ARWR, BBY, LNN, BWLD, FMCN, AEO, MRVL and MCHX on further declines.
However, for now, I will watch the fucktards, who get paid billions to move markets and manage money, make mockeries of themselves-- by fucking up their trades.
Finally, having a "calculator brain" is very helpful to "The Fly," during gay times-- like today.
NOTE: Assholes, go sign up to Shortdabull's website. "The Fly" approves of his html code.
Fly Buy: ARWR
UPDATE: I bought 5,000 @ $6.99.
Disclaimer: If you buy ARWR because of this post, interest rates will continue to climb. And, you may lose money.
Quick Alert: Beartarded Party
While I am still bullish, short term, I feel the market will poleax itself-- another 3%.
Also, I am hearing a very large and respectable fund, aside from Fidelity, is taking down stock in ARWR--daily. Anticipate some sort of ownership filing, shortly. Also, I anticipate MVIS will get an accessory deal done, for its Picop, near term.
Finally, my approach to this decline is to take my losses like a fucking man. We are still in a bull market and it makes little to no sense trying to make a few rubber nickels on pointless momentum short sales.
Next thing you know, the market reverses and rips your face off.
NOTE: Check out HLYS getting its cock chopped off.
Bulls Hiding in the Toolshed
However, they'll be coming out soon.
Sector Spotlight: Hardware
As you can see, the market has been wired and detonated by the "bear shitters." Unfortunately, market corrections are a necessary evil-- for all bull markets. They flush out the weak hands and reward the intelligent or well connected forms of life-- sort of like real life.
I'll have you know, already, I have consumed 3 "Java Monsters." I'm telling you, as sure as I am throwing this desk lamp at my trader/servant, HANS is going to rip the faces off the "bear shitters."
Thus far, legendary Steve Jobs is doing a splendid job with his ad campaign-- for the iPhone. The stock is on fucking fire and the sentiment is ridiculously bullish. If "The Fly" didn't admire Mr. Jobs, he'd sell AAPL, right now, 10 ways till Sunday.
Within Hardware, RIMM, AAPL, LPL, PALM, CREAF and SYNA have momentum.
Other than that, the oil sector is stable, with gains in CEO, TPL, OMNI and NGS, amongst others.
Also, it's worth noting, NFLX has exploded to the upside on renewed takeover chatter-- with AMZN being the potential suitor. Taking into consideration the amount of blockbuster hits at the box office, either way, NFLX is a terrific buy. Additionally, AMZN "the bear killing machine" never goes down.
Finally, MVIS is looking very good. Being a shareholder for close to a year, I can tell you the stock is behaving differently-- as if there is news on the horizon. It has not given up any of its recent gains and looks and feels like it wants to go higher. Stay long.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Alice Deejay: Better of Alone
PNRA is separate. For a matter of convenience, I am ignoring the PNRA disaster and will commence bragging about MVIS and ARWR.
No, but seriously, fuck around and start shorting my stocks-- you will lose your house, car, wife and kids. Except, of course, if you shorted PNRA, you are a very happy fucktard today.
Anyway, I suspect the Asian markets will get "mushroom clouded" tonight-- and so will the European rate hiking mother fuckers.
In short, we are going higher, bitch. Don't ask why-- just know "The Fly" will be celebrating "future gains" tonight, over a large piece of rib eye, heavily salted and lightly peppered, washed down with Corona's. That's right, I am drinking the poor man's wine tonight, beer.
Sometimes, "The Fly" enjoys beer, particularly during baseball games and other pedestrian sporting events.
Finally, I feel it makes sense to go long HANS. Java Monster is going to kill the bears-- all of them.
Fly Buy: MRVL
Disclaimer: If you buy MRVL because of this post, several hurricanes will visit your neighborhood, this summer. And, you may lose money.
Fly Buy: AEO
Disclaimer: If you buy AEO because of this post, you may go bald. And, you may lose money.
Position Updates: ARWR, MVIS
And, MVIS is fucking bullet proof.
Fuck you to all the hatfuckers who sold MVIS short, or "took profits."
Taking profits is for pussies-- people who are scared of being wrong. Remember that when MVIS prints $10.
Quick Alert: Bulls Getting Their Balls Roasted
We can close down 2,000 points and I'll still be too caffeinated and busy to care (obviously I'm talking shit).
But, seriously, what good is pleasure without a little pain?
Again, with my money, I'll wait until we are down 200, as predicted this morning, until nibbling at some of my favorite names.
When it's all said and done, MVIS will be $10, ARWR will be $10, CORS will be $25 and HANS will be $55. Until then, I will continue to intake too much caffeine, while throwing telephone handles at my fucking trader/servant-- for fucking up executions.
Summary of Today's Trading
Sector Spotlight: General Market
Clearly, they have no idea how to feed the fat fuckers in America.
As for today's trading:
It appears the bulls will have their faces "bear clawed" today, as every sector under the sun gets lit up. I wouldn't be surprised to see the DOW down 200+, today.
As for me, I will be downing shots of espresso, while sticking pins in a voodoo doll, that looks like the CEO of PNRA.
Long story short, I am not ready to hedge or go net short. I have too much invested in the "kill the bear and his family" thesis, than to switch mid stream. Therefore, like every normal investor, excluding the chart chomping idiots, I will sit here and wait to be executed.
However, if I am still alive by 3:00pm, I may decide to nibble at a few names.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Nirvana: Lake of Fire
So, with that being said, I command you (the internet sheep) to visit his creation and sign up, despite the fact that "The Fly" will never sign up to anything named "short da bull." That shit isn't even spelled correctly.
Today, I lost 0.6%. However, most of my stocks held their ground-- and rebounded late in the day, especially ARWR.
As I said before, the chatter is Fidelity buying large blocks of ARWR, in the open market, late in the day. It works like fucking clockwork.
All day long, the Internet sector gained momentum, with big dicked gains in AMZN, IGLD, BCSI, LOOK, MAMA, GOOG and VERT.
Also, I am hearing rumors of buyout interest in MRVL. Frankly, I don't trust the source, but it makes sense. MRVL has over 900 million in cash and little debt.
Finally, I anticipate the bears will attempt to drive the market down, again tomorrow. However, thanks to all the m&a action, any dip will be short lived-- providing the 2 & 10 years bond yields stay down.
With my money, I will likely buy more HANS. Then, after I am done buying HANS, I will buy some more.
Asshat of the Week Award: Bed Bath and Beyond
The reason why Bed Bath and Beyond (BBBY) missed earnings, for the first time in company history, is because they are stupid.
Case in point: They started a chain of stores called "Christmas Tree Shop."
So, during the Christmas season, I walk into one of these stores and guess what? There were no fucking Christmas decorations or Tree's to buy. Trust me when I tell you, no one visits these idiotic stores.
I thought to myself, not knowing BBBY owned them: "this fucking store will be bankrupt inside of one year."
I mean, why name the fucking store, "Christmas Tree Shop" if you have no intention of selling, umm, Christmas Tree's?
In short, Christmas Tree Shops are 10,000 square foot, glorified 99 cent store's. Furthermore, whoever came up with the idea to name a store "Christmas Tree Shop," while excluding fucking Christmas tree's from the store's inventory should be shitcanned or given a gigantic Asshat Award.
"I have people skills"
Sector Spotlight: Internet
As you all know, the sentiment shift of the fucktarded, asshattardly bond traders changes with the direction of the wind.
Just to reiterate, if the Fed's next move is to hike interest rates, instead of cutting them, "The Fly" will retire and move to the mountains of Romania, where he will herd goat for the rest of his existence.
As for today's trading:
Despite pockets of strength, the market looks like shit on a hot dog bun. For what it's worth, the Internet sector is bucking the trend, up 0.12% on the day. Wow.
Within the sector, I like the action in IGLD, AMZN, CTRP, GOOG, BIDU, VERT and NCTY.
Over the past 3 weeks, I have spent most of my cash reserve. Therefore, I will not be chasing this dip, for Mother Market may have a brass knuckled punch to the nose in store.
So, for now, I will sheeply watch my positions melt away, like a global warmed polar ice cap. In the meantime, "The Fly" will order a ridiculously large bowl of oatmeal-- and eat it.
Frankly, despite the fat fucks over at NTRI, I have nothing going on today. A sea of red.
Should I regain my balls, I may buy some BBY today-- although I doubt it.
NOTE: Please take the new "Fly Survey." Have you ever tried a Monster Energy Soda?
Monday, June 04, 2007
Quick Alert: Democracy Takes a BackSeat; Long Live Fly
The one called "Danny" promises to produce the best blog post in the history of all the internets-- if allowed to return next week. Failure to do so will result in immediate internet dismissal, followed by the dispatch of multiple laser beams aimed at his fucking skateboard and skateboard ramp. As you know, this will disrupt Danny's skateboarding hobby for many full moon's. A just punishment, indeed.
|Should I "shitcan" Danny and send him back to the skateboard ramp? [118 votes total]|
Newcleus: Jam On It
On one hand, I had "machine gun the shorts" gains in AAPL, BWLD, NTRI, RIMM, FMCN, GMXR, WMT, NYX, UPL and PNRA. On the other, fucktarded hand, I lost a few cunt hairs in MVIS, HANS, CORS and RS.
Basically, I felt like falling asleep at the desk, today.
It's worth noting, MVIS has digested its recent gains, quite nicely. There is something brewing. I can smell a fucking brew from many miles away. Hold tight.
Also, my dunk shot pick is HANS. The HANS story is more compelling than ever. Furthermore, the stock hasn't moved in ages. Look for the HANS to go nuclear, on news of market acceptance for "Java Monster."
Aside from my holdings, the natural gas sector intrigues "The Fly."
Look you, according to "stately experts," half the country will be destroyed, during this year's Hurricane bonanza, barring disruption from Sahara dust or El Nino. So, it probably makes sense to position in some risky dice rolls, ahead of the mayhem and calamity. After all, I invest to bank coin, not to fuck around and watch other people make Ferrari money.
With that being said, the following stocks are worth looking over, providing Mother Nature decides to go postal on our natural gas/oil pipelines-- located in the Gulf of Mexico.
NGAS, NGS, ARD, GMXR, GMRK, ECA, TXCO, BEXP, FUEL, GSX, OMNI, NOV, HP, MIND, BMD, DK, RES, RRC, SWN, LUFK and EQT.
Now, I know that is a very long list. Sometime soon, "The Fly" will put his "calculator brain" to work and decide on a Hurricane dice roll. In the meantime, go eat a sandwich or play with some live hand grenades.
Late Day Thought
"It looks good on you though"
Fly Buy: ARWR
Disclaimer: If you buy ARWR because of this post, Tony Soprano will get whacked. And, you may lose money.
Fly Sell: DNA
Quick Alert: Retailers Ready to Run
Also, J Crew (JCG) appears to be the newly anointed king of retail, displacing Ambercrombie and Fitch (ANF).
As for me, I own JCG, GME, URBN, TGT, WMT and BBY. However, I will be adding AEO to that list, shortly.
As for HLYS, I believe, long term, the stock is a great short. Unlike CROX, the fucking roller sneakers Heely's makes annoy parents-- and pose as a physical risk to kids. My guess, HLYS goes to $15.
Sector Spotlight: Energy
Thus far, I am bored with today's action.
Naturally, the dip buyers will support the market, no matter what. Therefore, in my opinion, it makes sense staying long and adding to your favorite positions.
For me, in light of the LEND buyout, I want to buy more CORS.
As for the Energy sector:
Eric "the oil barrel" Bolling must be as happy as a pig in shit, with big dicked gains in XTO, ARD, CHK, SUN, SWN, ATLS, APL, PQ and RRC.
In short, I am very busy today and have little to no time to fuck around and discuss stocks with weird people on the internets.
However, I will say, MVIS, NTRI and ARWR look good here.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
The Fantastic World of Danny
Anyway, Danny has a clever way with words, but little to teach me. Unless of course, he wants to show me some fucking tricks on his skateboard. I'll have you know, "The Fly" was never any good at skateboarding. However, I could throw a 90 mph fastball and explode your head-- depending on my fucking mood.
Long story short, time to vote.
Should I "shitcan" Danny and send him back to the skateboard ramp?
Most Influential Megalomaniacal Weekend Guest Blogger In History
I am the only person to have posted in June, so as of this writing, all 5,973 of those people are theoretically "my" readers. Using the figure from his most popular month, May, he had 80,476 page visits. That's the relevant measure here, btw, "page visits," not "page views." Ceteris paribus, I effectively contributed to 7.42% of the float of his readership (5,973/80,476). No doubt they were thoroughly enriched.
In examining the picture below, several trends become clear. One, he gets significantly less traffic on the weekend. Understandably so, the markets are closed. But as you can also see from this picture, I am clearly the most widely read weekend blogger in history, so, hat's off to me. Fuck, Sunday is not even close to over yet, there could be others still!
In regards to some kind of "pick," I wanted to do some work on the Russell rebalancing act. I tried a few screens, but was unable to reproduce the screen Jimbalaya used to find his three picks. Although, his picks were also recent IPOs and don't have a years worth of data, something necessary for the screen. I used this PDF of the current Rus2k, and searched for each symbol that came up to make sure it wasn't already a part of the index.
I picked the criteria with the idea that in order to be included this year, it must have been too small last year, and this year's subsequent price appreciation makes it ready for inclusion. I made several variations of the screen, tweaking market cap., one-year return, the number of analysts covering the stock, it's ROE, ROIC, Debt, etc.
I came up with these companies:
USAP: Makes specialty steel products, including stainless steel, tool steel, and other alloyed steels. Steel = automatic acquisition target.
STAN: Standard Parking! This is a stock?! Biggest competitor privately-held Ace parking? Sign me up. Even gay hybrids must be parked.
SPAR: Makes armored cars, capable of carrying Rosie O'Donnell to and from her mid-morning lunch safely. Now that is a strong-ass craft.
I have done, like, negative 3 DD on these companies, they merely fell out of the screen. Seriously. Would you buy any ol' stock your screen shit out, thinking the screener was some kind of fanciful auric goose? Come on. Be real. Actually, come to think of it, Fly may have that goose.
Anyway, the companies selected probably all suck and I hope you don't buy them. Then, I hope that later they do go up, so I can boast about it. And if they go down, well, I told you so.
UPDATE: Just realized STAN is already on the list. D'oh. Knew it was too good to be true. See? Told you no DD, haha. I replace it with FTK.