Saturday, September 22, 2007


The Important Matter of Link Exchange Requests

After reading Barry's rant on how stupid all of you (internet leech) are, "The Fly" felt like adding a few gold coins to the argument.

Basically, Barry doesn't like you third tier bloggers emailing him anything. Also, he doesn't like blogs that sound like his (Big Picture), check this. I wonder what jerk off would go through the trouble of making that blog? Geez.

Anyway, to sum up Barry's post, while adding a few of my own salient points, "The Fly" will give you 8 fucking rules to obey.

1. Don't ever name blogs that sound like Fly, Monster, Oatmeal, Mustache or Chicken Wings. If you choose to do so, like this fucking oatmeal blog, "The Fly" will NEVER grace you with linkage.

2. If you fucking beg to be on my blogroll, I'll have your mustache punched off. It's that simple.

3. Don't email me anything. I do not want to be invited to your fucking low-end parties, geeky web discussions-- or desire any offers to advertise on my site. I don't need your stupid, dirty internet money. Failure to adhere to these rules will result in the destruction of your website or lead to your arrest, via law enforcement.

4. No, I won't introduce you to the Wu-Tang Clan.

5. Never invite me to your social networking sites. Just know this, "The Fly" hates people. Therefore, inviting him to places where people can be found is always a bad idea.

6. Should you have the balls to send me an email with an attachment, just know: "The Fly" will reply with a fucking virus from hell, which will melt your hard drive like a cheap candle-- within seconds of opening it.

7. Before emailing me information, understand, I already know about that shit. Don't you get it already? "The Fly" is a fucking space alien magician, who possesses both "calculator brain" and "time machine."

8. Don't send me real, semi-real or fake links. Also, never even think about sending me old news or future news. As you know, I already know it. However, it's worth noting, I will accept "breaking news." Never mail me food, clothes, jewelry or anything that may carry germs. Finally, never question who tested and validated "The Fly's" IQ of 155, and whether he can read 800 words per minute or not. Failure to follow my suggestions will result in your house falling into a sinkhole. And, you may lose money.


Best Widget Ever Invented: UPDATE

UPDATE: Never mind. Upon further review, that widget sucked cow bell. I destroyed it.

NOTE: Mets just won. The stock Gods are pleased.

Friday, September 21, 2007


House of Pain - Jump Around


Closing Comments

Listen to me. Don't you ever doubt the abilities of "The Fly."

I'm over here banking so much coin; I might buy a fucking spaceship and execute trades from the moon, via WIFI of course. You know, just to give you retards a handicapped advantage on me.

Despite the zombie (MVIS) and collapse of NTRI, "The Fly" is up 35% for the year. Fuck you, doubt me. I'll kill your goldfish.

As you know, I buy and sell a select group of stocks; unlike you fools who buy whatever is going up. Before I step in, I study the company and get an edge, unlike you--chart chomping internet leeches.

Let's look at today's action.

I had monster gains in AZZ, EJ, NYX, ORCL, IIG, LNN, AAPL, RIMM, HANS and GME, while losing 20 cents on my LAZ short. Also, I was even up on SRS. See pal, that's who I am and you're nothing. Good Father....

Which reminds me, fire Willie Randolph, right now. That fucker is driving the Mets, like that fucker who steered the Titanic into an iceberg.

In closing, I like LAZ short here and BWLD long.

Off to eat several 2 1/2 inch rib eyes, with my favorite red.

NOTE: By the way, I was up 51% today-- on the little tip from the other day (CGXEF). You know, the one you assholes mocked me for.


Late Day Thought

If deals can't get done, how can LAZ make their numbers?


Fly Buy: VMC

I bought 1,000 VMC @ $86.80.

Disclaimer: If you buy VMC because of this post, Ron Paul will be elected President. And, you may lose money.


"I Found a Treasure"

The above clip stars Doug Kass.


Fly Buy: BWLD

I bought 5,000 BWLD @ $35.10.

Disclaimer: If you buy BWLD because of this post, the next time you go hunting, a fellow hunter will mistake you for a deer. And, you may lose money.


Fly Buy: EJ

I bought 1,000 EJ @ $22.18.

Disclaimer: If you buy EJ because of this post, China will sell all of its dollars. And, you may lose money.


Position Update: IIG

Big oversea buyers. "Dollar Danks" working the seminars.

"Get your share of the billion being made on the internet."


Fly Sell: HANS

I sold 2,000 HANS @ $51.99


"Black, black, black...dead"


Fly Sell: AZZ

I sold 2,500 AZZ $30.00


Sector Spotlight: Alternative Energy

Hey assholes, quit using my blog as a forum to spew your small town thinking. "The Fly" is into making big money, off of little people. Your rhetoric is stupid; your grammar is laughable.

As you can see, the bears are getting their lips punched off, especially in the metals. As you know, my long term favorites in the metals are KALU, RS, CENX and ATI.

Thus far, there is broad strength, but not excessive. Meaning: there is still a chance for the bears to mount an attack. However, there are notable winners, such as: LULU, INFN, DECK, TXN, NINE, ATV, BIDZ, NILE, OSTK, ORCL, RIMM and iiG.

That's right fuckface, I said iiG. Where are the fucking snide remarks, doubting "Dollar Danks" now? Where are the pussified emails asking: "gee Fly, is IIG still good"?

Go ahead, bet against me. Next thing you know, your house is being foreclosed on.

Finally, the rate cut has given jet fuel to the rally in crude. As a result, oil is at new highs and oil stocks are on fire. Today, big rallies can be found in SHI, PTR, CEO, ENG, SNP, NOV, DK and DWSN. In addition, there is a monster rally in alternative energy stocks, such as FSLR, ENER, EEE, LDK, JASO, GPRE, HOKU, DSTI and SUF.

UPDATE: Since we're on the topic of oil. Check this out. Never doubt "The Fly." He's much smarter than you.

Thursday, September 20, 2007


Notes from the Maxim Conference

Forget about what Tokman said. All of us know the story, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Just know, Maxim is a place where lots of low IQ brokers reside. They feed off of story stocks and buy them until they go in the dirt or until "lotto time."

Unfortunately, I was not able to attend. I was busy watching reruns of the A-team.

But, I had my spies there, who say the MVIS conference was the most widely attended-- out of 70 presentations. In total, about 1,000 brokers and investors attended, none with IQ's higher than 99.

Everyone was impressed. For most, this was the first time hearing the MVIS story. Tokman did his job.

In short, the conference should draw more people into the stock. It can only help with the demand aspect of this zombie of a stock.


O.C-Times Up


Closing Comments

I have meeting to attend.

See you losers later.

Just know, the market is short term over bought. Buying up here will result in swift poleaxing and "machine gunning" of your bullshit online brokerage accounts.

NOTE: Here is a link to the MVIS Maxim presentation.


AXR Sales Meeting

"I don't have to listen to this shit."
--Hyundai owner


Relax Fuckface

You will have plenty of time to bank a little coin, especially during the holiday season.

Try to couch your foam mouthed optimism with some reality, bitch.

The market has run up a lot, based upon nothingness aka 50bps cut. While it's true, "The Fly" is still long term bullish, I am not buying here. As a matter of fact, I'd rather own SRS and be short LAZ, than be long HANS or GOOG here. Keep in mind, "The Fly" is much smarter than you.

It's impossible to ignore the high price of crude and believe the consumer will benefit from that. Clearly, it's a negative and the market, eventually, will price it in.

With my money, I am raising cash, while nibbling at some special plays. And, I might bottom fish a little NTRI, if it gets down to $47.5.

In short, relax fuckface, relax.

UPDATE: Homies and Financial getting rolled on.


Position Update: NTRI

Here is the fuckballed report from Citi.

Inadvertently, the analyst caused a crisis of confidence amongst NTRI shareholders. The company has to be pissed.


Fly Sell: HANS

I sold 5,000 HANS @ $51.50.


Sector Spotlight: Food and Beverage

Well, GS posted miraculous numbers and BSC gave us a bag of shit; but it was painted gold. As a result, both stocks are higher, as the bullish swagger is back in full force on Wall Street.

Once again, Chinese related stocks are on fire, with mind boggling gains in ZNH, JRJC, SINA, EFUT, CPSL, ATV, XING, QXM, CNTF, EJ and CSUN. What gives?

As you know, precious metals, oils and basic material stocks are all hitting new highs, while the dollar sucks meatloaf. If I were a space alien magician, who just arrived on Earth, I'd say "wow, there's a lot of fucking inflation of this shitbag planet."

Nevertheless, stock prices are thriving off of the constant devaluation of the U.S. dollar. What a conundrum.

As for food and beverage stocks:

This is when you want to start building positions, ahead of the holiday season. There is a lot of momentum in LWAY, ABV, CU, PPC, BKC, MCD, CMG,HANS, WBD, SAM, THI, DEO, IHP and K. However, my favorite, by far, thanks to full college dorms coupled with football season, is BWLD.

That's right fuckers, it's time to jump back on the BWLD chicken train.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


The Important Matter of Ducati the Masseuse

Hi Mates--

Mr. Fly was kind enough to allow me to post on his site, so that I may explain why I deleted my blog.

For many years, working as a masseuse and a doorman, I acquired worldly advice from top grade investment bankers (clients) on how to properly *evaluate* a stocks fair value. With this knowledge, I took my small savings, after my prison term had ended, and took up *arbitrage* investing, effectively eliminating all risk.

I've documented my methods for many of you, including Mr. Woodshedder. However, sadly, he's too simple minded to accept opposing views. Instead, he mucks around with his charts, while following Mr. Fly's picks. Very well. Sadly, his bottom of the bottle American education allows him to ignore true mastery of the markets.

Anyway, this year alone, I have successfully traded 193 stocks, with zero losses. I've netted well over 1,023.09% on my money, all through riskless *arbitrage*, of course. Much to the chagrin of college boy.

Now, the reason why I took down my blog is for the following five explanations:

1. Instead of blogging about stocks, I've chosen to invest in a personal clothing operation, where I will oversee the cleaning of clothing items vis a vis people within my community. Outside of my normal business hours, of course. Odd no? Viz.

2. The market will not crash, mind you, vis a vis subprime meltdown, sadly enough. I've predicted for years, the *fair value* of the Dow Jones Industrial Average stands anywhere between 4,400-6,808. Being that it's over 13,800 makes my work effectively useless and leaves me unfulfilled, vis a vis grossly inflated equity prices. Hence, my choice to remove the blog, while I still have the bottle to live out my laundry desires. Grant likes to look at yellow bloomers and purple neck ties, on occasion.

3. I have resumed my primary work as a masseuse, which is entirely time consuming and makes my fingers hurt badly. Following my daily ham sandwiches, I bottle it up and inebriate myself into a Scottish stupor. That is usually when I undertake stock market analysis--mind you, vis a vis sec filings. However, now working full time, eliminates my spare time to hammer away at the old books, thusly, viz. And, now I am hungry. Odd no?

4. MDAWSZ is a coward of a man, who refuses to meet me for a one on one mud wrestle fight. I've offered to bring my own *physician* to oversee the battle; but he doesn't have the bottle to crawl out of his neatly tucked hole, somewhere in Portland. Instead, he hides behind his computer screen, all the while talking tough.

5. I lost a bet to the office boy. About 4 1/2 months ago, I predicted HANS would go to $2.76, CENX to $1.13, BWLD to $4.55, RS to $0.05 and MVIS to $00.00, naturally. Moreover, I forecasted all of the crooks from Bear Sterns be fired to the man, for obvious thievery from the company coffers. Odd enough, BSC has a *fair value* of negative 23, yet it still trades comfortably above $115. I find that unsettlingly odd. Do you? Nonetheless, for some reason, none of my predictions, all derived from 10-k, 10-q and other U.S. government filings, came to fruition, odd no? I think not. Mind you, none of the above companies have effective *patents* that can fend off duplication. I've warned of such occurrences for MSFT some 25 years ago, yet the market ignores and inflates share price. Criminals.

So, in parting, I want to thank Mr. Fly for not punching my mustache off. I always found him to be humorous. I'll have you know, I have a large mustache, sort of like this guy. LMAOROFL!!

Anyway, goodbye and be well

Jog on



4 Strings - Turn it around


Closing Comments

If you are heavily short the market, today hurt. One would think, following yesterday's melt up, today would sell off.

Nope. Out the window you go.

I wouldn't be surprised to see this market walk up to new all-time highs. Frankly, it makes lots of sense being an ignorant bull, never wavering or faltering.

During the recent dip, I was lucky enough to bag a boat load of FCX, as low as $68. Unfortunately, I sold the fucker, like a coward, for a 10 point profit. Now it trades $110.

My point: Sometimes it makes sense to remove your brain and follow strong trends. Whenever I over think a trade, like my LAZ short, I get "knee-capped."

Today, the internet and industrial names led the charge. Is it me or does GOOG look like it wants to go to $666?

With my money, I lightened up on some illiquid names, like AZZ, while averaging down on my SRS position.

I noticed the typical short squeeze stocks were running up today, like USNA, iiG and CORS. In a market like this, it makes sense to weigh into the bears, via buying heavily shorted stocks.

NTRI got nailed to the ground, losing 12% on a cautious Citi research note. Citi is the big bull behind the stock. Therefore, investors overreacted and sold it all fucking day.

In closing, "The Fly" is quite pleased with the current state of affairs, despite being "deballed" in LAZ, NTRI and SRS. I'm near new highs, waiting for MVIS to man up and mud stomp the sellers.

We shall see.

NOTE: Forgot to mention a new buy: CGXEF @ $1.55.


Sneak Peek: Yesterday's Fed Meeting

These guys are sharp.


Fly Sell: AZZ

I sold 5,000 AZZ @ $28.


Fly Sell: ADBE

I sold 2,500 shares of ADBE @ $43.83.


Fly Buy: SRS

I bought 1,000 SRS @ $88.56.

Disclaimer: If you buy SRS because of this post, the FBI will arrest you for making terrorist threats on the internet. And, you may lose money.



UPDATE: It has worked.

The appearance of this rare photo will cause LAZ to "buckle under" and "taste the blood of chickens," so my Voodoo Physician says.


Sector Spotlight: Homies

Get the fuck out of here; the homies are up 5.5% today. Come on, do you really think the sector has bottomed?

Fuck that. Sell them every which way, from here to Romania.

Trust me when I say, "I'm making so much money now, you'd think I was being paid in Peso's." However, in the near term, I am not adding to any positions. We are over bought.

Additionally, last time I checked, oil was nearing $83. WTF.

Come on, how am I supposed to get long retail names, while there are major credit issues and high energy prices?

Remember, heating oil is at a new high, going into the holiday shopping season. And, you southern fuckers, living in the trailer park, are not allowed to use Confederate currency, last time I checked.

In short, don't get sucked into an overzealous rally.

As for today's trading:

Thus far, I like the action in the basic material and industrial names, like RS, CENX, KALU, TEX, VMI and CRDN.

Also, there is some fucked up shit going on at NTRI, due to a cautious note by Citigroup, regarding dietary drug Alli and "tough comps." However, they do feel the company is poised for excellent growth in 2008.

This is nothing more than a short raid. I'm not worried.

Finally, it appears the shorts are scattering in iiG and CORS. Again, I stand firm, believing both CORS and iiG will go to $25.

NOTE: "The Woodshedder Bottom" lives. However, it's worth noting, Woody has covered his shorts and is now diving into an empty swimming pool, head first. Hence, you may want to throw a few shorts on the barbie, fyi.


HANS on Wallstrip

Howard finally capitulated to "The Fly" and made a HANS video, starring Cramer.

Fucking hysterical.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Biggest Losers of 2007= NY Mets

I'm sure some of you are baseball fans. Let me just say, the Mets are the biggest losers, in the history of the universe.

Willie Randolph is a complete tool, who manages the game like it's a fucking movie--instead of a playoff hungry baseball team. I'll have you know, "The Fly" was an excellent pitcher in his day, until his fucking HS manager blew out his arm, via over use.

It's official. You heard it here first. The Mets will not make the playoffs, mainly because they are fucking losers.


Jerk off Quote of the Day

18:49 TOL Toll Brothers CEO: Housing hasn't bottomed; Fed cuts won't work - DJ (22.72 +1.81) -Update-


Damian Marley - Welcome to Jamrock


Closing Comments

You couldn't have painted a better picture for the bulls. We had good numbers from LEH, great numbers from BBY-- and a 50 basis point cut. By the way, I feel like a rudderless hatfucker for blowing out my LEH position, a few days ago.

Holy shit.

Out of all "The Fly's" stocks, AXR outperformed best, with a fucking ridiculous short squeeze-- towards the end of day.

My two shorts, LAZ and SRS lit my balls on fire, with monster moves to the upside. The good news, I have so many longs; they were reduced to eyesores, with little effect on today's bull stomp.

I have a problem buying in a 300+ day. In the past, whenever I bought into such big up days, I ended up regretting it. Amateur hour.

Everyone with a brokerage account piled in today, which exacerbated today's move. Plus, there was massive short covering, as all of the fucktards who believe Doug Kass gave up.

Now, if you are a contrarian, this is where you want to sell. The argument for higher stock prices has to be backed up with strong jobs numbers and BBY- like retail sales.

Should we get good retail sales numbers, coupled with a 100k+ jobs report, say hello to DOW 15,000.

With my money, as you know, I will continue to average into my LAZ short, deep in the hole. I will refrain from buying SRS, due to a possible massive short squeeze in the sector.

At the end of the day, VMI, RIMM, LNN, FTK, JCG, and many others, went up like cocks in a brothel.

If GS and BSC post good numbers, we're going to 14,000 by Friday.


Bears Getting Bombed and machine gunned



50 BPS.

Death to the Bearshitters.



Nervous, fuckers?


Position Update: MVIS

That's it. I've had enough. I'm not doing it anymore.

(nonsensical rant over)

Look this stock (MVIS) is gay. The institutional ownership is a fucking joke, thanks in large part to the rookie, inexperienced stewards-- who have given MVIS financing.

So, at the end of the day, the stock remains in limbo hell, until the company gives clear guidance on whatever the fuck they are doing.

Meaning: What are they doing?

Everything is ambiguous, thanks to the asinine secrecy of the handset industry.

Bottom line: If you are a believer, like me, MVIS is a screaming buy, right now. If they are successful, the stock can go to $30. If they fail, "The Fly" will be shopping for new sheep coats in Romania.

Fly advice to MVIS: Wake the fuck up and show some leadership. I want to hear something new. Surprise me.


Fly Sell: LAZ

I sold short 1,000 LAZ @ $41.74.

Disclaimer: If you sell short LAZ because of this post, Bernanke will default on his subprime loan. And, you may lose money.


How I'm Playing the Fed

Thus far, I have done nothing.

I have a few hedges in place (LAZ, SRS). However, I have massive exposure to the upside, long 70 stocks.

In short, I think the LEH and BBY numbers are very bullish for the markets. However, being that we are already "shooting our load," prior to the Fed announcement, I fear there is a chance for a sell off.

In the meantime, the shorts are getting their necks punched, as stocks with big short interests run, namely the financials.

As for me:

I'm enjoying "big dicked" moves in FTK, HANS, FXI, SNDK, JCG, iiG and BWLD, while losing a little in LLNW, UNG, OEH and ALJ.

In short, I have cash available to sell short. I will not do anything until 30 minutes after the Fed decision. Many times the knee jerk reaction is a head fake.

Until then, enjoy the rally.


"I got my cake"


Sector Spotlight: Financials

Didn't I tell you, you fuckers are always wrong? Perhaps it's the demographic or socioeconomic blend, but you guys suck. However, it's worth noting, "The Fly" thought LEH would miss too. But after seeing this lop sided poll (below), I should have known better.

You guys saved LEH.

On top of that, BBY fucking blew away numbers. Very impressive.

Frankly, there's too much going on now. "The Fly" is experiencing "information overload," which may result in a temporary shut down of his "calculator brain." I'll have you know, when the "calculator brain" shuts down, "The Fly" likes to eat lots of jelly donuts.

As for today's Fed meeting:

The great bearded one will save the day. He is going to cut rates and "knee cap" the shorts.


No, seriously, he's a fucktard, who will have little bearing on the direction of the market. Trust me, I just got back from the future. You know, in my "time machine."

Regarding the financials:

They should be up a lot more, on that LEH number. In my opinion, they are screaming sells here.

As you know, with my money, I will sell short LAZ, many times today.

Off to the donut shop.

Fucktards below.

Will LEH post bad numbers on Tuesday? [67 votes total]

Yes (41) 61%
No (26) 39%

Monday, September 17, 2007


Late NightObservation

Best comment on, year to date:

Pertaining to Cramer:

"Cramer's hour by hourly Fed crazy posts continue. He is (in) some kind of manic phase, vacillating between greed and fear."

Har. har. har.

No robster for you. Too expensive.


Gza- Duel of the Iron Mic


Closing Comments

This morning I took a Sudafed with my morning Monster Soda. Let me tell you, those fuckers don't mix.

On one hand, I'm lethargic, like a sloth in Bermuda. On the other, my heart is beating like I'm on a fucking treadmill or something.

I do not recommend the combo.

As for today's trading:

I'm short term bearish. I cannot think of a scenario where the market can go up, ahead of the Fed and LEH.

So, with that in mind, I'm having my Voodoo Physician conduct some serious witchcraft on those lazy fuckers at LAZ.

God willing, his witchcraft will work.

Despite general weakness, there were many pockets of strength, particularly in the China related names, like BIDU, EJ, FMCN, SOHU, SINA, XING and CSUN.

Who fucking knows where those stocks are going?

It's one big stock market party in China.

Finally, ahead of the Fed and LEH, I want to lighten up on my dogs and sell short financials. Also, I like the SRS (short homies) here.

For those of you who disagree with "The Fly," go fuck a Romanian mountain goat.


Position Update: FMCN

As you know, FMCN is one of my largest positions. Luckily for "The Fly," the stock has been fucking running, like a goose in a lion's den.

The long term story is great (advertsing in China), but this move may be a little excessive.

If you bought the stock, recently, you may want to book a profit and wait for a pullback.

However, if you are not a day trading fool, this is a keeper.


Fly Sell: WU, NCC, BXC

I sold out of my WU, NCC and BXC positions.

Doing a little tax loss selling.


Fly Sell: LAZ

I sold short 2,000 LAZ @ $41.61.

Disclaimer: If you sell short LAZ because of this post, your neighbors will spread false rumors about your manhood or lack of. And, you may lose money.


Fly Sell: LVS

I sold out of my LVS position @ $125.10.


Fly Musings: BSX

When will this stock bottom?

This has to be the worst managed medical device company in the history of medical device companies.

However, it's worth noting, rockstar fund mangers at Paulson and Co. took down 32 million shares of BSX-- according to the 6/30 filings. I say 'rockstar' because one of their funds is up 400%+ this year.

Needless to say, their time machine is working, just fine. Perhaps they know a little something about drug coated stents.

Worth a look.


Fly Buy: JCG

I bought 1,000 JCG @ $42.85.

Disclaimer: If you buy JCG because of this post, your favorite baseball team (Mets) will lose 8 straight games to its nearest competitor (Phillies). And, you may lose money.


" I want my cake"

This clip is not to be confused with Howard's birthday party. He turned 55 today.



Sector Spotlight: Financials

About a few weeks ago, I quit drinking coffee. I didn't quit because of the caffeine or the unhealthy portions of sugar "The Fly" puts in his Starbucks cup. After all, I get plenty of caffeine and sugar from my fucking Monster Energy soda.

Look you, I have little desire to be an old coffee drinking tool, who ponders retarded questions, such as: freshly brewed versus instant or milk versus cream?

Fuck that.

Plus anyway, I thought it would make a fine sacrifice to the stock God's. You know, the mysterious entity that makes my stocks go up.

Let's call a spade a spade here. "The Fly" has been the recipient of a few losing trades, recently. As you know, this circumstance he finds himself in is most unnatural and must be dealt with immediately.

Hence, the sacrifice of coffee consumption, as delicious as it may be, to the fucking stock God's.

As for today's trading:

I'm shocked the market isn't down, in light of that European bank getting its face ripped off. Sometimes the market doesn't make any sense.

With my money, stubbornly, I will short more LAZ and buy more SRS. There is no way, on God's green printing press, LEH posts a good number. No fucking way.

Despite broader market strength, the financials are weak, with losses in CCRT, BCS, TMA and MER.

As for my holdings:

"The Fly" is enjoying early gains in EJ, VMI, FMCN, LNN, FTK, UNG and LAZ (short).

I expect to sell short LAZ again. Then after I short it, I will do it again, and again and again.

Sunday, September 16, 2007


The Important Matter of Running for President

As you know, "The Fly" has hinted that he might run for President in 2008, in order to "save the country" and create policy to "punch off the jaws of the bears."

Now, I understand many of you might have a problem voting for a guy who refers to himself in the third person, who claims to regularly ride in a "time machine," in order to extract information from the future-- so that he might "bank a little coin," via stocks, in the present.

Never mind that.

Let's talk about something important. Put that coffee down fuckface....

Sorry, I was a bit distracted. Back to the campaign.

Just know, voting for "The Fly" will result in a major tax cut for the rich-- and a hike on the poor. Think about it.

I believe, leaving the tax rate too low, for the poor, leads to complacency aka laziness. Should those WMT shopping fuckers get slapped with a 25% penalty for income under 100k, they might become motivated to "get on the road to prosperity," already.

I want to see those poor fuckers become rich, so that they may enjoy low tax rates, and buy stuff from SKS and BID.

With regards to defense:

As President, I will annex Mexico and Canada. Why fuck around with borders and political bullshit?

Look, this country needs more oil and cheap labor. Plus, when Mexico becomes part of the U.S., those border fuckers won't have anything to bitch over, with regards to "illegal aliens." However, on second thought, they probably will move down to the Guatemala-"New U.S." border, to bitch about those pesky Guatemalans getting in.

We'll deal with that problem later.

With regards to interest rates:

I will appoint Larry Kudlow as my Fed Reserve Chairman, thereby ensuring "Goldilocks" stays alive.

With regards to health care:

With Mexico and Canada under our belts, the uninsured health care crisis will be eliminated. With all the cheap labor available, "The Fly" will build many health clinics to treat the uninsured. The clinics will be maintained and funded by big pharma-- sorta of like big drug dealing locations for them. Thus, the health care will be free, paid for by PFE, MRK, LLY, etc. All you (U.S. voting fools) have to pay for is "medicine insurance," which will be very, very cheap-- thanks to the cheap drugs being made in "Old Mexico."

Finally, as President or Presidente (depending on where you live), "The Fly" will use the U.S. treasury as one big sovereign fund. Meaning: I will "day trade" or invest the treasury in publicly traded stocks, becoming a nightmare to all short sellers of the world. I will have my staff run a daily list of the most heavily shorted stocks and buy those companies out for triple digit premiums, effectively transferring the assets from bearshitter to bullshitter-- rather seamlessly.

The one caveat to my Presidency is anonymity. Yes, "The Fly" will remain anonymous during his term as President, in an effort to conduct personal assaults on foreign leaders, without fear of repercussions.

For example:

If "The Fly" was Presidente back in 2003, prior to the war with Iraq, I, under the secrecy of anonymity, would have had personal (one on one) discussions with Saddam Hussein. During my diplomatic mission, whenever he would mouth off some shit like "death to America" or "fuck you and your nukes," I would have punched his fucking mustache clean off his face, demanding information as to the whereabouts of all those fucking weapons-- and shit.

Then, 15 minutes later, I, as President, would call Saddam and apologize for my "Ambassador's" unprofessional diplomacy. You know, punching his mustache off and all.

I would use these "tactics" over and over again, until every world leader was "mustache-less."

Fly for President, 2008.

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