Fly on WallStreet

Man, fiery rhetoric sure does get the blood flowing. I have given serious thought to becoming a Southern preacher or a talk-show host. I have little doubt in my ability to extol the virtues of the lord with vehement fury, and my insane vitriol would surely make Howard Stern look like Howard the Duck. I think we can agree that insane vitriol is an art, and I'm in here painting the Sistine Chapel with it.

It's also clear at this point that Fly has several stock advantages we, the laymen at home, don't have. This is another reason the weekend janitor usually is ineffective. Jeremy had solid info, and that was helpful for people, but no MVIS. His article was great, but you naggers want a MVIS.

So why compete? Some dickface said "he didn't learn anything from the last post." Well, read it again then, asshole, shit's like Beowulf--you have to read it, like, ten times before you can understand it's deeper meaning. Sure, I could build a house by hand. I know it takes a foundation, some electrical, and a huge backyard for the skatepark/pool. Couple hammers. I could get some "south of the border" friends to help me. Compare that to the guy who's been in the biz for 15 years, who already knows his suppliers and knows which ones are reliable. He, for better or for worse, has material information that I just don't have. Reading some reviews on Yelp about the materials guy won't help either--It's the contractor who's been at it for years and saw this guy go bankrupt three times due to incompetence that really knows. If you haven't figured out the allusion yet, Fly is the contractor, and we all are out here using mudbrick and cardboard to build homes on a mountainside of raw sewage.

Some do better than others do, but those are just the facts, and it is why I am hesitant to offer much in the form of stock picks. Besides, there's my blog and perhaps a Sunday post for that.

What I do want to offer is some personal finance advice.

1.) If you have been trounced in this market, you must be psychotically over-trading, extremely fucking lame, or both. In all likelihood, you will soon be homeless, your friends and family will turn their collective back on you, and honestly, it's because you're disgusting. Every man's worst nightmare. What I would do, is on the first day of being homeless, sign up at the gym closest the local college. This is great because the gym is open 24 hrs a day, six days a week. That is almost a hot shower a day! Not to mention the luxury of free sauna and extremely hot bitches in spandex. My god, I need to get my shit to the gym right now. The idea is on the first day you won't be as homeless and scummy, making you more welcomed at the sign-up booth. Finally, on the issue of cost, it is $16/month. That's a little over 50¢ per day you have to panhandle to support that membership. Given that leprotic Larry down by Ralph's does several dollars a day, it's reasonable to expect $1 per day from you. If you followed that plan, you would be the most toned and relaxed degenerate in town.

2.) This one is a bit more complex and requires what were here in the biz like to call "gumption." A contract is only legally binding if, ok you know what? Fuck it. Contract law is hard. But here's the skinny:

Create a website with godaddy.com, and design it so it is convincing, and create the image that you are a hit man for hire. Also, create a c-corp. and designate it is a non-profit outfit to help support anti-crime initiatives. Charge $12,000 per hit, that way there is no tax-liability for the payer. You have to really sell it to the person that you are going to kill someone, otherwise they might not buy it. Say you got guys in every city. Fuck, you could probably just post a job in the craiglist for the city of the hit and find some guys willing to play along for a few hundred samolians.

Obviously, no one gets killed, merely insert in the recesses of the fine print that there is no refund, or guarantee. You report the idiot that tried to hire you, you pay yourself 30% as your admin salary, and rest you donate to charity. I believe there are millions of fucking retards out there, several hundred reading this, and if even one in every 10 million Americans is psychotic enough, they will increasingly rely on the internet to find their New Jersey hacks, and that’s like 30 customers. Getting paid (12,000 X 30 X .3) = $108,000 to get crime off dem streets is fucking legit, especially if you are homeless and use the free wireless at the café across from Starbucks.

Oh, I don’t think SBUX is cheap enough yet. There’s a fucking tip, now fuck off, and fuck your sister, and your cat. I would have fucked your mom, but the bitch was too fat. Sorry, I broke out into song there.

“Res Ipsa Loquitor”

I was going to title this "Incredibly Fucking Awesome; A Treatise on Superbery," but I decided instead to borrow a phrase from South Park, as the general topic of this post is why the other weekend bloggers of yore have sucked the indoor-side of an elephant's asshole.

The answer to the titular question, of course, is "naggers." That's what most of the people here are--worthless fucking naggers. "Fly, why is LOCM up 1 penny today?” "Fly can you tell me some good investments for my mother? She is 45, and has a propensity towards raising stupid children." "Fly, I notced MVIS has warrents, wht does ths mean?" Nag, Nag, Nag, and so on. This guy's free blog has been Enzyte for my wallet for bordering on a year now, and all most of you cunts can do is whine about the minutia that occurs here. I bet that comparison hits a little too close to home for some of Fly's readers who area little more methusalaic (talking to you, Richard). Now mind you, there are some intelligent people who come here, but they are few and far between. You can't just hand the reins over to anyone.

So it is in this troubled time for weekend Fly-dom that I have been selected to help reign in a new era of hope and information here on this fucking epic blog. Where other weekend bloggers have failed, I will invariably succeed. Maybe other bloggers blog for the benefit of humanity, or information dispersal, but this blog is intended to be as undemocratic and self-serving as possible. Believe me, things are gonna be diff'rent 'round here on the weekends.

Every weekend, some barely literate, fisherman-welsh guy posts something that brings little or nothing to the table. I'm not naming names, but I am talking about Kidstock and Ducati. Sure, they might seem like your "run-of-the-mill internets sociopath" or "common ritard," but they, like you, the proletariat, are not blessed with prodigious faculty--Fly, now he has something to post about. The weekend blogger, aka "expert for a day" lacks any credibility with the audience, because frankly, who the fuck are they to be telling me what to buy, or how they are choosing to spend their measly stipend? Fly says buy MVIS, NTRI, harness the spirit of the buffalo? OK, worth looking into. Douchey-la-femme sez, "a top is here," "short VLO," and "BWLD to $2,” and I do what with that? I politely say, “no thanks,” then kindly invite them to die slow.

The bloggers suck, then they are ousted by people who suck. It's just an ineffective weekend system, one in need of tweaking. My content will be both resplendent and domineering, flooding all five senses and forcing all to bask within its warming, basking, warming-glow. I know my picks are on point--Check out my blog. It rules so severely, I sometimes question the legality of it all. My site has a monopoly on awesome content, because it is partnered directly with my brain. Like, it is heinous how much that thing rules, and because as a 22-year-old native San Diegan, I am a world authority on cool, I can tell that this is now the fucking site. Should you be forced to visit only one URL for the rest of your life, I can safely bet your quality of living would go up markedly if you visited only this one. Your vocabulary would improve, members of the opposite sex may find you more worldly, and the curvature in your spine will begin to straighten. In fact, I encourage you to make this your homepage, now, so when it’s on TV, you can tell your friends at the public swimming pool, “Hey Pete, you know that’s my homepage? See, I knew about it before it was famous.” You know you want that.

This is going to be an interesting weekend for us all.

NOTE: Click here for MVIS audio recommendation (scroll to the end of the presentation for MVIS).

"The Fly" had his biggest week of the year, gaining 6.7%-- putting his ytd return over 40%. While it's true, making too much money too fast can be worrisome; I do not fear weak, old bears-- at this stage in my life.

Numerous friends of "The Fly" say: "can you fucking stop posting all this shit on the internet?" Or, they query: "why are you sharing all this information with strangers on the web?"

My answer to these questions and many others is, "fuck you, I feel like it." No specific reason, motivation or hidden agenda. Perhaps, subconsciously, I am searching for intelligent life. God knows, the people around me are driveling idiots-- with charts up their ass and cheap shoes on their feet.

Finally, if a shotgun were put to my head, in order to extract one stock pick, I'd say: "sir, shoot me if you must, but before you do-- go long MVIS."

NOTE: Look for Russel 2000 and 3000 re-weightings.

I bought 2,000 HANS @ $40.32.

Disclaimer: If you buy HANS because of this post, stupid people will gravitate to you. And, you may lose money.

I sold 2,000 ABBI @ $24.91.

I sold 1,500 SVG @ $9.70.

I'm sure many of you asshats were happy this morning, as ARWR sold off to the low 7's. Thinking to yourself: "ha,ha, The Fly is fucking dead." Now, seeing the stock climb back from death-- it must irk you. I know.

Just know this: Betting against "The Fly" is equal to burning an American flag in the deep south-- generally, a bad idea.

I bought 5,000 ARWR @ $7.21.

Disclaimer: If you buy ARWR because of this post, the next time you go on a road trip, you will get 4 flat tires. And, you may lose money.

For some reason I am not impressed with the tape, this morning. Maybe it's because ARWR is shitting the shower, following good phase 1 clinical data or because NTRI jumped $6--then collapsed $5.

Long story short, "investors" are selling the ARWR news, but will likely buy back--following a possible Russel 2000 inclusion, after today's close.

Apparently, some very large funds are rushing into BBY, ahead of June's numbers. And, Semiconductor stocks are finally being bid up, specifically ATHR, CREE, SMTL, SIRF, MU and QI. However, as of now, "The Fly" is not a fan of the semi's. They're for losers.

Finally, with my money, I'll probably nibble at ARWR, HANS and MVIS. By the way, it looks like my RS is catching fire.

Holy fuck.

What just happened to NTRI? This fucker gapped up $6 at the open, then shit the shower.

Criminal

		Hansen Natural-HANS solid May Nielsen data, see signficant upside still-OW@JPMS
		JP Morgan continues to view HANS as an excellent takeout candidate.

7:02AM Arrowhead Research subsidiary, Insert, publishes interim Phase I data from human clinical trials for new cancer drug (ARWR) 7.60 : Co announces that interim Phase I data has been published in the 2007 American Society for Clinical Oncology Proceedings. The abstract's authors state that the stable disease rate, although not yet conclusive, is consistent with promising efficacy. In general, IT-101 was well tolerated and pancytopenia was the dose limiting toxicity. Patients that have completed the six cycle treatment regimen and showed stable disease or better are expected to continue to receive treatment on a compassionate care basis. The first person to enter the trial, a pancreatic cancer patient, is stable after 10 months.

PicoP featured on CNN.

Click here to download retarded wmv file.

Dudes at MVIS, can you please discard this wmv file shit and go flash?

UPDATE: All of the internet should thank Hawkmoon for uploading MVIS' retarded wmv file to YouTube.

I guess if you "fucked around and sold short MVIS," you lost your house--dude. Seriously, the chatter is getting so loud my desk is starting to vibrate.

Just know this, if you are short MVIS and feel like a dicktard for getting poleaxed-- cover now or lose it all. People close to me feel MVIS is a $15-20 stock, within 12 months.

All in all, I was up 1.6% today, with big dicked gains in MVIS, ARWR, FMCN, BBY, NTRI, AAPL, PLCE, JCG, EQIX and RS.

In short, the market is doing great, but "The Fly" is doing better. If the essence of my stock market success was translated into a movie, I'd be fucking John Rambo--taking out the entire N. Vietnamese army with exploding arrows, and shit like that.

Look, as long as liquidity runs rampart and the economy keeps gaining momentum, the market will continue to melt up. While it's true, nothing lasts forever. Right now, there is a window of opportunity to bank some serious coin. You'd have to be a fucktarded, dickless, asshat to ignore the obvious trend, or named Ducati.

Finally, it's worth repeating, I have noticed many new internet people on my retarded blog. I'll have you know, I do not welcome anyone over the age of 47 1/2. In my "studies," I have found old men, like Jim "the bow tie" Rogers, to be stupid and old-- and plain ole' vanilla gay.

NOTE: Repeating the word "old" may sound redundant, but will resonate with people on my wavelength.

My sense, within a week, they will all be dead.

The internets never lies.

As you know, "The Fly" has documented a direct correlation between oatmeal consumption and up stocks.

Long story short, I bought a new oatmeal bowl and it's fucking huge. Moreover, there is plenty of horse food in it, right now.

Developing...

Now let's see if this post marks my top.

I bought 30,000 ARWR @ $7.51.

Disclaimer: If you buy ARWR because of this post, your roof will spring a leak. And, you may lose money.

In case you are stupid and uninformed, there is a big cancer conference taking place in California-- called ASCO. At these conferences, small bullshit companies release "blockbuster" clinical data, sending their shares soaring.

Already, shares of DNDN, AVNR and several others are ripping.

From what I hear, one of ARWR's subsidiaries will be releasing phase 1 data, very soon. In my opinion, should the data be "blockbuster," the stock can print $10.

As for today's trading:

Should MVIS hold these levels, late in the day, anticipate another short covering rally. Also, it's worth noting, this is the second day the stock is above the magical $5.30 mark. If the stock can stay above $5.30 for 20 days, they get to call in the warrants and receive 35 million smackers.

Seems like an ideal time to release some news, doesn't it?

Right now, the Financials are on fire, with terrific gains in RJF, AGE, SF, BLK and IAAC. Trust me when I say, the brokers are making a fuck load of money now. Being long any broker or asset management firm makes a lot of sense, now.

Finally, with my money, I will load the fuck up on ARWR, CORS and maybe a little HANS. I'm into crushing shorts now. Hence, I will use my buying power to make them sweat.

Just in case you were wondering, I fired my Japanese barber yesterday.

First of all, God forbid I am 5 minutes late-- the fucker cancels my appointment. While it's true, he is a Picasso with the scissors, fuck that. "The Fly" is far too busy and callous, than to arrive at a barbershop on time.

Secondly, that fucker raises his prices--every damn time I'm there. Albeit, we are talking small numbers-- 5 bucks here, 10 bucks there. Still, it was getting ridiculous.

So, following yesterday's hair cut, I asked him, despite the fact he doesn't speak any English, "what are you using light sweet crude to grease those scissors?" I queried why his prices go up 5 bucks-- everytime I visit. However, all he did was nod-- because he had no fucking idea what I was saying. So, I said fuck it-- and paid the man his inflated, oil adjusted, prices.

I'm sure he would make a great business partner for my Chinese food guy. Couple of assholes they are.

Too busy for CC's, up 4% today. If that saddens you, go fuck a goat.

I bought 2,000 HANS @ $39.65.

Disclaimer: If you buy HANS because of this post, PEP will bankrupt itself--effectively leaving you without soda pop. And, you may lose money.

I sold 2,000 MCHX @ $15.98.

13:59 HANS Hansen Natural spikes to session highs as PEP-for-HANS chatter makes the rounds (40.06 +0.63)

On an apples to apples basis, should HANS be purchased at the same p/s multiple as Vitamin Water-- the stock will get ripped out @ $75+.

By the way, there is 11 million shares sold short.

I bought 3,000 MVISW @ $2.79.

Disclaimer: If you buy MVISW because of this post, your neighbor's dog will eat your herb garden. And, you may lose money.

I bought 20,000 ARWR @ $6.69.

UPDATE: I bought 15,000 @ $7.15.

Disclaimer: If you buy ARWR because of this post, your toilet will overflow. And, you may lose money.

It looks like the retards who short MVIS are about to get their helmets smashed in. Once again, the buzz is MVIS will ink a deal for their PICOP accessory, within the month (June).

Also, I am hearing ARWR is set to release some phase 1 clinical data, which may help its share price. Plus, I understand Fidelity has a fat man's appetite for its shares, especially late in the day.

I bought 5,000 BBY @ $46.87.

Disclaimer: If you buy BBY because of this post, the next time you are driving through a tough neighborhood, you may be car jacked. And, you may lose money.

My time machine tells me today is not going to be a bad day, despite the fucked up start. If people are buying CWTR's clothes, this economy must be on fucking fire.

It's interesting to note the gay trading range HANS is in, right now. If HANS were a person, I'd punch his eyebrows off and kick him down a manhole.

As for today's trading:

Thanks to CWTR, PVH, DBRN, CHKE, COH and ANF, the retail index is green. Thus far, everything else is bleeding red.

Look you, if you think "The Fly" has time to explain why the market is down and where it's going, you might as well write letters to Santa Claus-- asking for a "calculator brain" this Christmas, too.

This is ordinary.

In short, with my money, I want to collect more shares of HANS and ARWR, today. Once again, I am hearing some positive buzz around ARWR. Also, if I'm up to the task, I'll nibble at some BBY-- down at these fucktardedly cheap levels.

NOTE: Please take the new "Fly Survey." Are you bullish or bearish on the markets?

Should Cruxmonger be Shitcanned? [85 votes total]
Yes (72)	85%
No (13)	15%

Don't get me wrong. I like Cruxmonger. His name is cool and his commentary is intelligent. However, when the people (you, the internet fucktard) speak in such loud volumes, voting Crux out with an 85% majority, "The Fly" must say "fuck you, you're fired."

By the looks of the poll results, one would think Cruxmonger was some Islamic terrorist with nuclear bombs strapped to his face.

Next.

As I said before, "fuck around and lose your house, shorting MVIS."

Do you fuckers think I'm fucking around here, playing games at the roulette table?

While it's true, a bull market makes everyone, with the exception of Ducati, look smart. I look smarter, mainly because I am.

Not only does "The Fly" read at a staggering 800 word per minute pace, he also banks coin--profusely.

Now many of you still doubt "The Fly" and his stock market command. You probably sit there, in your bullshit $150 shoes and $75 piker tie, thinking: "this guy has nothing on me" or "he's just really lucky, I hope his "illegal Mexicans" steal his fancy collection of watches."

I'll have you know, "The Fly" keeps his watches in a very secure place-- and would rather stand all day, than be caught dead in a $400 pleather chair from Staples.

Finally, it's worth noting, I was up 1.6% today. MVIS closed at $5, BWLD was up $1.66 and CORS/MCHX shorts are being destroyed-- as you read this drivel.

Good times.

NOTE: Apparently, the fat mountain bitches (CWTR) are shopping like mad. I am very fortunate for covering my short. Many thanks to my "calculator brain" for identifying a bad trade-- early on. And, props to Jeff "the shineball" Macke for recommending purchase, prior to tonight's earnings.

16:15 CWTR prelim $0.13 vs $0.09 Reuters consensus, $0.08 First Call; revs $281.29 mln vs $264.51 mln Reuters consensus

I sold 2,000 NDAQ @ $32.23.

I bought 1,000 BBY @ $46.42.

UPDATE: I bought 3,000 BBY @ $46.40

Disclaimer: If you buy BBY because of this post, your television will explode. And, you may lose money.

Naturally, "The Fly" is very fond of HANS-- with all of its Monster Energy drinks. As you know, I tried Monster Java this weekend, while successfully breaching NYC's speed limit by 50 mph. It is a very good beverage and will likely punch the face off SBUX and its queer Frappacino in a bottle. Java Monster is served up in a nice metal can--just like God intended.

By the way, I am up 0.4%-- as I write this rubbish.

So anyway, it's just a matter of time until the retards, who manage billions of dollars for a living, buy HANS-- and do so in size. There are many ways to win with the stock.

Aside from HANS, I really like the action in NTRI. Apparently, many fat fuckers are feeling guilty about stuffing their collective faces in bbq pork ribs-- and are signing up for NTRI's bird diet. Keep in mind, NTRI has a very high short interest, which may serve as jet fuel for its stock price.

In general, the market looks great. What else is new? The private equity assholes are buying stuff, while the "bearshitters" keep shorting then covering. I must say, I have never seen such a great market bet against so heavily. Poor bastard shorts are having their faces ripped off, daily.

Finally, the Networkers are on fucking fire, thanks to the possible sale of AV. Right now, SDXC, SMTX, SONS, CAVM, JNPR, OPTM, SILC and BBND are gaining momentum.

NOTE: Keep an eye on MRVL for a possible near term bottom. By the way, as I finish this post, "The Fly" is up 1.1%.

So far, my weekend has gone exactly as planned. I have consumed many pounds of red meat, while washing it down with several high grade bottles of Bordeaux.

As you know, the one called "Cruxmonger" made a feeble attempt at weekend blogging, giving the internets no stock picks. Instead, he declares "do your own dd." What the fuck?

Hence, I give you elections aka revenge.

Also, I just watched Friday's Fast Money, where Jeff "the shineball" Macke is setting himself up for an "Asshat Award," declaring CWTR a good trade into earnings. Funny.

Now, I know Jeff specializes in the gay world of retail, but CWTR? Fuck that.

Aside from fat mountain bitches, no normal people dwell in CWTR's stores.

With that being said, the expectations are low and the company may find a way to paint this pig-- for one more quarter. Although, I doubt it.

Also, my local gas station just started selling Monster Java, which was invented to destroy the fuckers at Starbucks and their bottled Frappacino beverage.

"The Fly" feels Monster Java will be a huge success-- and HANS is doing a great job at stuffing their channels with more product.

Off to grill a swordfish.

NOTE: Should Cruxmonger be shitcanned?

UPDATE: It appears Cruxmonger is the unlucky participant of a reverse Saddam Hussein election, where 98% of the electorate vote one way. Truly amazing.

Telecommunications companies have had some rough times over the last five years or so. During the '90s, when things were good, the telco's began using their profits to build out high-capacity, long-haul fiber networks. When profit's began to dry up, and WorldCom and the others fucked everyone, a shit ton of debt was issued by the telco's to fund the remainder of their fiber build-out projects. The stocks suffered tremendously as interest expense from all that debt started out pacing earnings growth. On top of that, demand for bandwidth didn't grow as fast as originally expected.

The day is finally here where the traditional T-1 just doesn't cut it. Jeremy is right. It is all about "the last mile." Fiber only goes so far. Typically, fiber is handed off to the customer site as Ethernet. Companies whose products make that fiber to Ethernet conversion are about to see a great increase in demand. ADC Telecommunications (ADCT) makes carrier-class media converters, and they also have exposure to wireless and broadband access. The stock has traded basically flat since the bubble, and as demand for products in all of their segments increases the stock should be able to rally.

The telco's are finally starting to make money again. As their customers increase their bandwidth requirements, the telco's are able to charge more for their services. The best part is that fiber optic technology is increasing the amount of data that can be pushed down each strand of fiber. Wavelength-division multiplexing effectively channelizes the fiber strands allowing for the transmission of ridiculous amounts of data. The telco's will be able to charge more and more for these high bandwidth services without the need to expand their infrastructure which should result in margin and earnings expansion. LVLT and Q come to mind as good speculative plays in this arena. Disclosure: I have a small position in Q. This sector is ripe for M&A activity. Small regional carriers are going to find it more and more difficult to compete with the nation-wide networks, and the big boy's have an easy way to expand their footprint via the takeover. Not to mention the fact that it is probably more cost effective for one provider to buy the other as opposed to building out a parallel network. These small telco stocks benefit from both the increase in margin and earnings due to bandwidth hunger, and from the premiums often paid these days in buy-outs. CHTR is one I've had my eye on for a while. They have had a decent run over the last couple months, but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to see a Qwest or Verizon try to swoop them up. Who know's, maybe we can get greedy and hope for a bidding war. There are tons of other smaller service providers out there, but I'm lazy. Go to hell. Do your own DD.

I'm looking forward to being fired. It has been fun. Jessica Alba is hot.