Saturday, April 14, 2007


On A Bender

I will be back to entertain the tards at some point. At the moment, I am on a bender that makes Ben Sanderson look like he was on step 10 of 12 in Leaving Las Vegas. When I'm done, I'll be back to address the Tutor. Off to buy a gallon of Skol.

Friday, April 13, 2007


If I may be so bold....

Since The Fly did not give out an Ass Hat award this week, I am taking it upon myself to hand out that award. The award goes to..... Glenn The Fuckhead. Earlier in the week Glen said,

"Short BWLD. It is worthless. On the Fly's recommendation I took my golfing buddies to the shit hole in Myrtle Beach last week. We sit on hard chairs. Two hundred TV's are bombarding noise and what-not. We order Natchos to start, waitress brings this pile of lettuce and chips with a tiny bit of melted cheese. Then waitress brings these real ugly yellow wings and a bunch of paper plates. We ask for real plates, she says they don't have any, use the paper, dickweeds. My buddies are not impressed. We leave and go eat at a decent restaurant. Afterwards we all agree: BWLD is without a shadow of a doubt the best short on the board. Peter Lynch says buy what you know and like. I say sell what is disgusting and ugly. BWLD is digusting and ugly. Thanks Fly for finding me this great short. It's going down for the count."

You sat on hard chairs? It is not BWLD's fault your ass was extra sensitive to the chairs because you spent the afternoon getting your oil checked by your "golfing buddies". You are a pillow biting moron. Once you and your "golfing buddies" are done trollin for colon, I suggest you reverse your stupid BWLD short and go long.

I too recently went to BWLD, what a fucking place. Completely filled by people fresh from some amusement park, the place was hopping. I ate 12 wings, served to me in a wafer thin paper bowl by a technical school reject. These thing cost $7.99 and my beer was $4. I ordered another 12 wings to conduct an experiment. This was when the Fly's brilliance hit me and I realized BWLD is going to print $100. I scraped the meat of these little bones and got enough to make 2 McNuggets max. $4 a nugget? You think those fuckers at McDonalds wouldn't like to charge $24 for a 6 piece ? The margins at BWLD are so big they might as well be selling blow, pure genius. I must say, I do have one concern. I was just one person surrounded by double wide fat fuckers in one BWLD and I demolished 24 wings. Unless BWLD is growing 12 winged chickens at Three Mile Island, I just went through 12 chickens. Are there enough chickens to feed the obese nation their wings?

Any way, I was so thrilled with BWLD, I decided I would make it a Fly night and give his beloved Monster a try, big fucking mistake. I might as well have walked right into a 7-11 and said," Hey Habib, pour me a big gulp and drop a big grab bag of pop rocks in that fucker." Ten minutes after drinking that thing I blew my colon out my ass like the midget out of the cannon at the circus. Thanks to the fly I'm off to get scoped tomorrow, a small price to pay for coining massive cash.

Hey Fly, for doubting my ability to keep my job, I hope your bordeaux is sour and you choke on the gristle of your ol 96er. I hope you tards enjoy the footage I grabbed of The Fly at dinner tonight.

The Hole - video powered by Metacafe


The Cure: Friday I'm in love


Closing Comments

I'll have you know, "The Fly" will be eating several 2 inch rib eyes tonight, while guzzling down his favorite bottle of Bordeaux.

Today, the shorts got poleaxed, with huge wins in the Biotech, Pharma, Networker and Metal sectors.

Personally, I was up 2.1% today, putting my year to date return (fuck you Ducati) at 22.5%.

Finally, if a shotgun were put to my head, in order to extract one stock pick, I'd say "go long CENX."

Off to buy some Dunkin' Donuts coffee.

NOTE: Be sure to visit this website over the weekend. Let's see if Taco can keep his job.


Late Day Thought

I will eat like a fucking King tonight.


Fly's MVIS Analyst Confronts Naked Shorts

Careful, he may be coming for you next.


Sector Spotlight: Drugs/ Biotech

Don't worry hatfuckers, "The Fly" is not some mystical figure-- who came down from the heavens, onto the internets, in order to help retards make wise stock selections. No, "The Fly" is very real, indeed. However, when the amount of earned coin becomes too great, "The Fly" has more important things to do, than fuck around with retards on the internets.

I'll have you know, the music in my office is so loud, the paintings on the wall are shaking.

As you can see, MVIS has "moonshotted." But, it's not done going higher. Once the company inks their first cellphone deal, I feel the stock will touch $6. If it's going to happen, it has to occur before June.

Today, the drug and biotech sectors are king, with big dicked gains in MRK, NSTK, NTMD, XOMA, NURO, OPXA, LEXG, CARN, HEB, amongst many others.

If you followed me on the DGX seasonality trade, good for you. So far, looking at the May report, there are some great buys. However, "The Fly" has decided to make the internets wait for this report, since he is far too busy grilling swordfishes, drinking Monster Energy Soda's and throwing spare telephones at his servant/trader.

NOTE: CENX looks poised to break $50.

Thursday, April 12, 2007


Wu-Tang Clan: C.R.E.A.M.


Closing Comments

Today, I gently steam rolled thousands of short sellers. All of my stocks were up big, as "The Fly" posted a 1.5% return for the day.

Without a doubt, those who profess doom are mentally ill. Basically, the argument for lower stock prices is so weak-- it is laughable. I am sure these bear fuckers sit around all day (losing vast sums of money), trying to convince those around them to sell stocks. They remember the "good ole days" of 2000-2002, when the market went Armageddon on the average Joe, hoping for another collapse.

With my money, I'd rather buy large quantities of oatmeal, without raisins or cinnamon, and eat until my hair hurts. Naturally, I could afford such luxuries because of my "calculator brain," and the courage to place my balls on the chopping block, daily.

The major difference between "The Fly" and "Mr. Goat-Fucking Bear Shitter" is balls. I have them and he doesn't.

Aside from fun talk, the market looks great.

To summarize, I want to position in ARWR, MVIS, NTRI, HANS, CENX, DIVX, IIG, BWLD and maybe PRNW.

Bottom line: The market is going higher and "The Fly" is King of the Internets.

Off to paint my house yellow.

NOTE: REED does not stop going higher.

NOTE II: Should Imus get the firing squad, hanged and quartered or electric chair?

UPDATE: Steve Jobs is a dick. He's is now an enemy of "Fly's Kingdom."


Late Day Thought

I'm on fucking fire.


Fly Buy: iiG

I bought 2,000 iiG @ $24.86.

Disclaimer: If you buy IIG because of this post, Home Depot will raise the prices of screw drivers. And, you may lose money.


Fly Sell: SU

I sold 5,000 SU @ $81.96.


Aluminum Prices Poised to Run

Look, I despise looking at charts. However, my chart guy is alerting me to the fact that aluminum may be on a verge of a breakout.

In recent weeks, copper, lead, gold, silver, nickel and zinc have exploded to the upside. The only laggard has been aluminum. Don't get me wrong, it's up-- but not much.

If you believe metal prices are extended, stay away. However, if you are like me, big aluminum bull fucker-- take a look at CENX, AL and even AA.

NOTE: For every .01 move in aluminum equates to .15-.17 per share in earnings, for CENX. By far, the most levered stock-- to the price of aluminum.


Fly Sell: GERN

I sold 10,000 GERN @ $7.42.


Fly Buy: ARWR

I bought 25,000 ARWR @ $5.23.

Disclaimer: If you buy ARWR because of this post, the next time you cheat on your wife, you will get caught. And, you may lose money.


Position Updates: NTRI

I have a big appetite for this stock. Despite $2 price targets by old man Ducati, I believe this stock will print $70, by October. Also, I am hearing the quarter is going well and is tracking ahead of consensus.

Keep in mind, this is all rumor mill talk.

With that being said, I have ordered my trader/servant to fucking buy the dips.


Quick Alert: April Fools Month

Ah, I was just kidding. Of course the market is going higher.

Anyway, back to business.

Steve Jobs is a wonderful CEO, with fairly priced products.

Oh, is that ARWR on fucking fire? I believe it is.

I have more rumors and bullshit to discuss. However, at the moment, I am a bit busy eating rice pudding.


Sector Spotlight: Energy

That's it, I've had enough. Steve Jobs' face is back on the dart board. That fucker is really starting to annoy me, with his stock going down so much--so quickly. However, trust me when I say, I will never capitulate. Ever!

I'll wait for this iphone crap to come out, rip the populace off with a $500 price tag, then laugh all the way to the bank.

Aside from AAPL, I want to destroy RIMM's NYC location (if there is one?). I am long the stock from $50, but so what-- who cares? These RIMM fuckers are destroying me today. So, I want to destroy them. It really is that simple. Caveman tactics.

Also, I am hearing all sorts of fun stuff about ARWR. Keep it on your radar, chart chompers.

Finally, I am going to take a nap. This two day market decline has me in a very bad mood. Frankly, I am not even up to throwing stuff (bottles, snacks, oatmeal bowls, empty Monster cans, frozen Monster cans, darts, etc) at my trader/servant.

I fucking admit it-- the market is going lower. There I said it. Go play with some oil stocks.

NOTE: I find it somewhat fucktarded that I "spotlight" sectors, without even fucking talking about them. I just noticed. I do this shit all the time. I must be some sort of asshat for creating posts, such as this one.


Wednesday, April 11, 2007


Onyx: Throw Ya Gunz

In order to protect the masculinity of this website, due to Taco's gay post, an alpha male gangster rap song was ordered.


Can't We all just get along?

I am so fucking rich I don't have to do shit. Everyday is a weekend for me so I am posting on what is called hump day for you chart watching ass dribbles. I was wondering why MarketMakerX was so angry until I found his album cover from his youth. After being violated by several large men in his youth, he obviously harbors some resentment to men who coin cash and eat red meat.

This album cover was made because not enough people in MMX's hometown hated him. Por Primera Vez means “for the first time”. As in- For the first time, I have an excuse to wear my little sisters clothes. I’m sure he was referring to the first time he was violated by his uncle. He doesn’t look the least bit creepy or unnatural. What he looks like is a fucking ass clown …wearing Jordache shorts that were made for an eight year old girl, and an izod golf shirt that is stretched so tight you can see through it. The colors used in the title block are timeless, assuming your idea of time is between 1976 and 1978. MMX already made me want to blow fucking chow, but the element that pushed it over the edge was MMX's left hand on his abdomen. I don’t know why that triggers my gag reflex, but it does. If anyone has any ideas that would make this album cover more uncomfortable to look at, please don’t tell me.

Author’s note: These comments were slightly edited from Pork Tornado, to see the real list and some pictures of MMX's family see the following link.


Jascha Heifetz: Rondo (Mozart)


Closing Comments

I don't need the market to close, in order to do closing comments-- in case you were wondering.

So far, today, I am down 1.3%. No big deal, since I am up nearly 20% year to date.

Frankly, I am unsure as to the near term direction of the market. However, I will say, buy the fucking dips, until late May. Then, after cashing in absurd profits, we will short the market-- from June to September and gain many pounds from eating fat laden rib eyes.

Look you, my brain works 10x as fast as yours. By the time you decide the market is cheap or expensive, I'm already buying a new case of Monster Energy Soda.

All day, the refiners went higher (VLO, TSO) and select natural gas stocks did well (NGAS, BEXP). However, I'd be careful holding the Energy stocks for too long.

Once "the global warming" kicks in, the summer will melt the ice caps and the world will no longer need to heat their homes. In other words, be prepared to trade out of your Energy stocks, soon.

Finally, I am a big MVIS buyer. Moreover, when MVIS inks their first cellphone deal, I may fly down to New Zealand, track "The Ducati" down, like the dog that he is, and spit on him. Then, I'll fly back, eating peanuts, drinking wine and cussing at my fellow passengers--all the way home.

UPDATE: Because of the sudden turn in MVIS, I am only down .75%.


Should the Fed Tighten...

I will retire to the hills of Romania and live amongst goat herders.


Quick Alert: Giant Bowl of Oatmeal

I have just been served a giant bowl of oatmeal. I repeat. I have just been served a giant bowl of oatmeal.

NOTE: Watching the CNBC stupidity makes me want to throw the giant bowl of oatmeal at the television. However, I have successfully refrained from doing so.



Fly Buy: DIVX

I bought 2,000 DIVX @ $21.90.

Disclaimer: If you buy DIVX because of this post, you may become obsessed with Brady Bunch reruns. And, you may lose money.


Sector Spotlight: Metals

Thanks to AA's stellar numbers, CENX and the rest of the metal stocks are taking off. Right now, CENX, PCU, ACH, BVN and a myriad of gold stocks are ripping the arms off of the shorts.

However, keep in mind, the sector is up nearly 30% year to date-- and is due for a pullback.

As a matter of fact, the entire market is due for a minor pullback.

With that being said, right now, I feel it is an ideal time to throw some protective hedges up and take some small short positions.

Furthermore, on a pullback, I'd be a big buyer of EQIX, NTRI, HANS and AAPL.

You know what, scratch HANS off that list (I'm too lazy to take HANS off manually, but had time to write this fucktarded explanation).

From what I understand, HANS is about to launch a new drink, Java Monster. This new beverage will compete with those homo friendly Frappacino beverages, by Starbucks.

Trust me when I say, HANS will kick the shorts and legs off of the Frapp drink.

Finally, it looks like money is coming out of tech and piling into commodity related stocks, today. For now, I feel that trade will work and suggest overweighting a few natural gas names, as record cold weather fucks with NYC. My favorite is GMXR.


Fly's Analyst's Tip of the Day

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


Quick Alert: Market Poised to Run...

...because more than 60% of you fucktards, including old man fucko Ducati, are bearish.

As I said before, the cocktail of people who visit my retarded blog are always wrong. That's right, I am talking to you, liver lips.

Therefore, I am going to dig deep tomorrow and buy more-- because of you.

Now go back to drawing straight lines on your fucking charts, morons.

Off to grill a sword fish.


Deftones: Change

No CC's today. Too busy.


Fly Sell: ITRI

I sold 1,000 ITRI @ $67.72.


Fly Buy: GERN

I bought 10,000 shares of GERN @ $7.67.

Disclaimer: If you buy GERN because of this post, the mail man will steal your credit cards. And, you may lose money.


Position Updates: DIVX

DIVX is not done going higher. As growth slows amongst other tech names, like STX and RACK, I suspect investors will bid up the stocks of companies with sustainable growth and momentum.

DIVX fits the bill and will continue to blow away numbers, as demand for video compression explodes.

Soon enough, DIVX will be in mobile phones, T.V.'s and all sorts of portable devices.

Ultimately, I believe the company will be acquired. For now, stick with this name, hatfuckers.


Sector Spotlight: Energy

I know what you are thinking. You are looking at DIVX and wondering how one man could be so lucky or smart? Then, in order to justify your own incompetence, you declare: "fuck that guy on the internets, he must have a time machine or some shit."

I know.

The truth of the matter is, I do this shit all the time.

Some people pass a bar exam and sue people for a living. Others, pass an accounting exam and push pencils over at H&R Block. I passed the series 7 and fucking bank coin.

Now, many of you like to daytrade for pennies, while using charts and moving averages to set your parameters. Some of you fuck around with balance sheets, and try to figure out the inner workings of the Universe. I, on the other hand, just bank coin. It's that simple.

Today, the Energy related stocks look good, with big gains in ROSE, FSLR, DWSN, AMSC, URZ and SNP.

Additionally, I like the action in the Retailers, Food & Beverage, Semiconductor, Biotech and Networker sectors.

The fucking market is going higher, Mr. Dicktarded short seller. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

Finally, tiny beverage company REED is on a ridiculous run. It goes up every-fucking-day. And, NTRI is "machine gunning" the shorts sellers, partly thanks to the companies big dicked buy back.

NOTE: The dollar sucks. Stay long FXE and don't go on vacation, outside U.S. borders.

NOTE II:Take the new "Fly Survey." Are you bullish or bearish on the markets?


BREAKING NEWS: Breakfast Taco Wins in a Landslide

I attribute Taco's success to his MVIS pump, since many of you are MVIS lovers. Let's see if he can survive another week.

Even money on making it to week 3.

Congrats Taco.

Final Tally

39% (44)

61% (69)

Monday, April 09, 2007


Polls Close at 12am, NYC Time

So far, the one who calls himself "Breakfast Taco" is winning by a landslide. Barring an event that will piss me off and fire him, "BT" will be slaving over his filthy computer, in order to blog here, next weekend.

In other news, DIVX has fucking "moonshotted," up $4 in after hours. I'm fucking rich-er.

Also, so many of you fuckers have clicked on my Adsense ads, I have made a record $25 today. On this pace, I will be able to quit my day job, and become a full time blogging idiot.



NORE: Nothin'


Closing Comments

Aside from the Trannies and Biotech's, today was a sleeper. Obviously, the market is pausing, as the earnings season gets underway. For me, my earnings season begins on Friday, when HANS reports.

I know some of you day trading malcontents are somewhat perplexed-- over the non-vertical action in MVIS. Calm down my friendly day trading chart-fucker. MVIS is a long term, "fuck you shorts, you're dead" play.

In an effort to clarify my current bias, I have compiled a short list of stocks under accumulation by "The Fly." The list does not include stocks that I already own and hold, goat lovers. It only includes recent buys or stocks that will be bought, by yours truly.


Now go take this unparalleled "knowledge" and get rich, bitch.

NOTE: DIVX=Fly wins again, part 2.

Co says that Q1 (Mar) revenue and pre-tax earnings will be higher than previous guidance. Co now sees Q1 revs of $19.8-20.2 mln vs prior guidance of $17.3-19.3 mln and consensus of $18.7 mln. Co says "we saw continuing evidence that consumers are choosing DivX to enrich their media experience."


Fly Buy: MCEL

I bought 10,000 MCEL @ $.99.

Disclaimer: If you buy MCEL because of this post, your internet connection will slow. And, you may lose money.


Fly Buy: DIVX

I bought 1,000 DIVX @ $20.09.

Disclaimer: If you buy DIVX because of this post, your allergies will take a sudden turn for the worse. And, you may lose money.


Fly Buy: MVIS

I bought 2,000 shares of MVIS @ $4.15.

Disclaimer: If you buy MVIS because of this post, homeless bums will gravitate to you-- like free soup. And, you may lose money.


Fly Buy: KEX

I bought 1,000 KEX @ $35.92.

Disclaimer: If you buy KEX because of this post, your only son may join the Italian mafia. And, you may lose money.


Position Updates: ITRI

Fly wins again.

Back to work.


Quick Alert: Biotech Crazies

Because of the outrageous run in DNDN, every gambler on Wall Street is bidding up small biotech. Typical of the crazy man investor, people are looking for the next big run.

Personally, I fucking hate biotech stocks. Like I said before, they are like little time bombs-- waiting to blow off your arms, via FDA denial.

Anyway, here is a short list of today's movers:


NOTE: For what its worth, I am hearing decent things on ARWR.


Sector Spotlight: Trannies

The Soprano's is, by far, the most overrated/bullshit show on HBO. I swear to God, whoever writes for that show should be fucking fired and kicked down a flight of stairs. Maybe the writers, in their infinite wisdom, will end the show with Tony Soprano eating "Johnny Cakes" at a gay restaurant, somewhere is fucking jail. That would be original. Fucking bullshit I tell you, bullshit.

As for today's trading:

The Trannies are on fire. While the shorts get the old "chop your arm off when you're not looking trick," the bulls are fucking coining money in HUBG, CSX, GWR, YRCW, ACLI and TRN.

Also, the Food and Beverage sector is moving, with big dicked gains in REED.ob, DKAM, WBD, DIT, FMX and HANS.

Steel stocks are strong, with oversized gains in SCHN, GGB, CENX and NUE.

Ultimately, the market will move higher and break the jaws of many short sellers. Personally, I like short sellers in my stocks. They are like fucking prisoners, who I regularly beat over the head-- with a log of dried salami.

Finally, a new Chinese restaurant opened in my neighborhood. Unfortunately, already, I feel like burning it down to a cinder.

This weekend, I ordered (for takeout) the special "Phoenix" combo, which is supposed to have shrimp, LOBSTER and chicken. However, when I got home and opened the fucking little carton, NO LOBSTER.

So what did I do?

I ate all the chicken and shrimp, then, after constant prodding, my wife ordered me to call the fuckers and find out what happened to the LOBSTER.

I swear to God this is a true story. I called and asked the man "what happened to my lobster." He fucking laughed at me and said "har, har, har, robster is too expensive, har, har, har."

Then I replied: "but, your fucking menu says there is LOBSTER in this dish. Plus, you just charged me $21 for a few pieces of chicken and shrimp."

He replied: "har, har, har, menu is wrong. Robster too expensive."

After he said that, I calmly hung up the phone-- with all sorts of respect for that Chinese man, who brazenly opened up a fucking restaurant with wrong menu's and shit. Truly, that man is not to be fucked with. So I dropped the issue, knowing that man had defeated me in a chess match of robster.

Sunday, April 08, 2007


Thank You Grandpa, Now Pray for Votes

I want to thank Breakfast Taco (this weekends guest blogger) for his weekend story and uber pump of MVIS. Being long the stock, I am pleased with his work and look forward to finding out if he is aware of any other publicly traded companies.

I don't know this Breakfast Taco guy, but I suspect he is long MVIS. What do you think?

In closing, I am opening the polls for a vote. If you feel he should be "shitcanned," now is your chance to voice an opinion.

NOTE: Go vote asshats.

NOTE II: Below is video footage of my sales manager interviewing a weekend blogger applicant. It's not an easy gig to retain. I have high fucking standards, you know.


What now lil' brotha?

So here we are. Tokman and the crew are sitting on incredibly dispruptive technology, have deals with two contract design manufacturers, and are in various stages of negotiations with many potential customers for automotive, cell phone and accessory versions of the PicoP. In the next few weeks I think you are going to see some deals announced that will amaze you. There are just so many ways for this company to succeed. Oh yeah, don't forget eye wear.

Remember, the first financing deal done with MDB included some warrants. The holders can convert at anytime and MVIS can call the warrants if the stock trades above $5.35 for 20 days. I think this will happen very soon as fundamental news will propel this stock above that level. This will result in 30 million plus coming in for MVIS. I believe they will also choose to use the 35 million shelf at this level. If MVIS is trading around $6 and they call the warrants and use the shelf, they will have around $70 mil in the bank. If they cash the LMRA for another 10 million they will have around 80 million in cash and 60 million shares outstanding fully diluted. This is enough cash for Tokman to build out his team, develop the technology, rule the fucking world and still have just 60 million shares outstanding. Meanwhile the 4 million shares short are just more fuel for the fire. By the way short fuckers, great idea betting against Captain Ivan Drago.

In 2008-2009, accessory PicoP becomes the hottest selling Ipod accessory of all time. In 2009 embedded PicoP revives the entire stale handset industry. In 2010 heads up displays go mainstream and are on the way to becoming as common place as ABS breaks. All of this brought to you by a small company called MVIS licensing the technology to companies and industries across the globe. The Fly becomes so wealthy he no longer hires illegals but grows them on a farm in Ecuador. Tokman becomes richer than Nathan Arizona Huffhines and the shorts are forced to pull double shifts at the sperm and plasma banks. Of course this is just my opinion and if you buy MVIS you might grow giant tits, be forced to breast feed midgets at the circus and you might lose money. Before I go, Just a little footage of Tokman heading to the office.

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DISCLAIMER: This is a personal web site, reflecting the opinions of its author. It is not a production of my employer, and it is unaffiliated with any FINRA broker/dealer. Statements on this site do not represent the views or policies of anyone other than myself. The information on this site is provided for discussion purposes only, and are not investing recommendations. Under no circumstances does this information represent a recommendation to buy or sell securities.