Sunday, September 16, 2007

 

The Important Matter of Running for President

As you know, "The Fly" has hinted that he might run for President in 2008, in order to "save the country" and create policy to "punch off the jaws of the bears."

Now, I understand many of you might have a problem voting for a guy who refers to himself in the third person, who claims to regularly ride in a "time machine," in order to extract information from the future-- so that he might "bank a little coin," via stocks, in the present.

Never mind that.

Let's talk about something important. Put that coffee down fuckface....

Sorry, I was a bit distracted. Back to the campaign.

Just know, voting for "The Fly" will result in a major tax cut for the rich-- and a hike on the poor. Think about it.

I believe, leaving the tax rate too low, for the poor, leads to complacency aka laziness. Should those WMT shopping fuckers get slapped with a 25% penalty for income under 100k, they might become motivated to "get on the road to prosperity," already.

I want to see those poor fuckers become rich, so that they may enjoy low tax rates, and buy stuff from SKS and BID.

With regards to defense:

As President, I will annex Mexico and Canada. Why fuck around with borders and political bullshit?

Look, this country needs more oil and cheap labor. Plus, when Mexico becomes part of the U.S., those border fuckers won't have anything to bitch over, with regards to "illegal aliens." However, on second thought, they probably will move down to the Guatemala-"New U.S." border, to bitch about those pesky Guatemalans getting in.

We'll deal with that problem later.

With regards to interest rates:

I will appoint Larry Kudlow as my Fed Reserve Chairman, thereby ensuring "Goldilocks" stays alive.

With regards to health care:

With Mexico and Canada under our belts, the uninsured health care crisis will be eliminated. With all the cheap labor available, "The Fly" will build many health clinics to treat the uninsured. The clinics will be maintained and funded by big pharma-- sorta of like big drug dealing locations for them. Thus, the health care will be free, paid for by PFE, MRK, LLY, etc. All you (U.S. voting fools) have to pay for is "medicine insurance," which will be very, very cheap-- thanks to the cheap drugs being made in "Old Mexico."

Finally, as President or Presidente (depending on where you live), "The Fly" will use the U.S. treasury as one big sovereign fund. Meaning: I will "day trade" or invest the treasury in publicly traded stocks, becoming a nightmare to all short sellers of the world. I will have my staff run a daily list of the most heavily shorted stocks and buy those companies out for triple digit premiums, effectively transferring the assets from bearshitter to bullshitter-- rather seamlessly.

The one caveat to my Presidency is anonymity. Yes, "The Fly" will remain anonymous during his term as President, in an effort to conduct personal assaults on foreign leaders, without fear of repercussions.

For example:

If "The Fly" was Presidente back in 2003, prior to the war with Iraq, I, under the secrecy of anonymity, would have had personal (one on one) discussions with Saddam Hussein. During my diplomatic mission, whenever he would mouth off some shit like "death to America" or "fuck you and your nukes," I would have punched his fucking mustache clean off his face, demanding information as to the whereabouts of all those fucking weapons-- and shit.

Then, 15 minutes later, I, as President, would call Saddam and apologize for my "Ambassador's" unprofessional diplomacy. You know, punching his mustache off and all.

I would use these "tactics" over and over again, until every world leader was "mustache-less."

Fly for President, 2008.

Comments:
Just got home from a few drinks, read this shit and almost died laughing.

You have my vote.

the best part = "I want to see those poor fuckers become rich, so that they may enjoy low tax rates"
 
the genius of this plan is unbridled.
 
Can we issue going green 2.0? My theory is, littering creates jobs--I toss, they clean. By they, I mean the newly promoted proletariat proselytizing fly's mustachioed greatness. Excuse the alliteration, I expect such writing devices will soon be made illegal, so I'm getting it out now.
 
Bravo- I can envision weekly chat sessions "Fly Chat's to The Nation" at the local D.C Dunkin D's.

Jefferson K. for VP. Howard for Sec. Treasury. Maybe we can steal Fucktard away from Hill. With your platform of "milking the farmer..every last drop"-you could gain serious momentum in Iowa.

Made my first purchase at Sam's--I've alway gone to Costco. Place was kind of dumpy comparatively. Did not appear to matter, 6 deep all the way across.
I'd say WMT pe should expand. If it doesn't, hang on.
 
Headline of the future:

Guatemala's Massive Border Wall Fails to Stop Hordes of Illegal Immigration from North

Now we know why Fly is buying SRS.
 
I predict that "The Fly" invalidates the U.S. dollar by making the PicoP the only acceptable form of currency.

I also predict that "The Fly" ends up spending his entire presidency aboard a permanently in-flight Air Force One-- or inside a secret lunar fortress.
 
I personally think poor people should pay more in taxes because they use more of the free shit the government gives away. God forbid they pay for a little of it in taxes. I don't take shit from the government other than military protection. Everything else should be turned over to private industry. If I want to drive on Jim Bobs dirt road I should pay that fat fuck so he could eat more pig gizzards. Poor people are sharks that will take your fucking money when you arn't looking.
 
I would like to see a Department of Golf as a part of the Cabinet. Perhaps you can eliminate the Department of Education and replace it with the Department of Golf.
A second thought would be to eliminate the Department of Health and Human Services and/or HUD and replace it with the Department of Frisbees and Good Times.
 
I would like to see a ban on all faggotry in society. Case in point if you wear a bluetooth earpiece on a date to dinner then you should have your cocknballs chopped off. Can we add this department? I think they have it in Iran already.
 
Gapping- Sounds good. I would think one would want to add no fannypacks for tourists as part of your policy.
In order to raise revenue The Fly could give away signing rights to some of the Government monuments. Examples would be The Lincoln Monument brought to you by Viagra or US Congress building by Tampex tampons.
 
I was undecided until that part about Krudlow being Sec of Treas .

That sinched & clinched it -

Fly 4 el prezidente 2008 !!

although I wouldn't mind a constitutional amendment outlawing palladium supercycles or maybe just palladium, period.
 
Bluetooth earpieces will be illegal, punishable for up to 5 years in a Motorola training facility.
 
What if the leader of a hostile nation does not, in fact, have a mustache to punch off? Would "Presidente" then be within his legal rights to punch said leaders chest hairs off?
 
I am busy making bumper stickers and buttons.
 
I almost choked on my sandwich reading this. In regards to the tax on poor people. I think you should reward those that get off their asses and prosper. The problem with heavily taxing the poor is that retail sales drop significantly. It seems as if poor folk don't have reasons to save (ie house, college education, retirement, etc.), they spend on items they don't need like big screen LCDs, premium satellite packages, designer clothes, etc. If they can make it out of the gutter and into the $100K range, they should be rewarded with no income tax. However, if you were born into that bracket, then you would just enjoy the lower taxes per "the fly."
 
The Fly is God and hopefully El Presidente en 2008
 
how about a FET: Forwarded Email Tax. i hate those things. buck per forward x persons on the thread.
 
Might be time to pick up a little DUG for a trade.
 
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As commander in chief, the Fly would be known in "Mexico" as "El Mariachi", or simply "El" for short.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y91O3PsLKvU
 
How did you know I was drinking coffee?

Bicycling while talking on a cell phone should also be illegal. Otherwise, I'm installing a chain gun on my car.
 
Some questions I would ask Greenspan(that CNBC won't ask):
1. Were you the genius, as head of the council of econmic advisors, behind Gerald Ford's button program WIN (Whip Inflation Now)?
2. Why did you let the technology bubble proceed 1998-2000?
3. Why did you allow interest rates to get so low after 2002 to let the housing bubble proceed?
4. Is Andrea Mitchell good in the sack?
 
Greenie is lame

not that Andrea Mitchell is a babe but she can do better than Elmer Fudd
 
Andrea and Alan-- a couple of glasses of wine nice hot bath and a rousing discussion about inflation and Anti- Trust policy.
 
Q: Why do the Chinese, as a whole, have very few mustaches?

A: Because BIDU has punched the mustaches off of everybody in the country at least once.
 
MONsanto, the creature from the Black Lagoon.

It... just... keeps.... coming.
 
congrats on MON, jake. par soon.

its still evil, though
 
Yeah, that's what they used to say about all ag tech.

But it's feeding billions, isn't it?
 
Insiders control 0.19% of MVIS through the 2,000 shares that they hold. This level of ownership is below the Electrical Equipment industry norm and suggests that insiders goals could be less aligned with those of shareholders than at other companies in this industry. Plus, over the last 3 months, insiders have sold a net 39.0K shares. This is in stark contrast to the 2-year quarterly average where insiders purchase a net 264.2K shares and may provide some indication that insiders are less bullish than they have been in recent times.
 
1. Fly is "la mosca" in Spanish.

Mariachi is a Mexican musical genre, or an apparatus for the detection of ultra-high-energy cosmic rays (Mixed Apparatus for Radar Investigation of Cosmic-rays of High Ionization, aka MARIACHI).

2. Instead of punching that bad guy's mustache off, why wouldn't you just put a gun to his head and extract one stock pick from him before pulling the trigger?
 
mike - if there is a fly not 'Fly' in the ointment, that be it
 
Having said that if the share price were to add only a dollar it would be worth over 1500000 in share options to tokman.
 
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