Sunday, September 16, 2007
The Important Matter of Running for President
Now, I understand many of you might have a problem voting for a guy who refers to himself in the third person, who claims to regularly ride in a "time machine," in order to extract information from the future-- so that he might "bank a little coin," via stocks, in the present.
Never mind that.
Let's talk about something important. Put that coffee down fuckface....
Sorry, I was a bit distracted. Back to the campaign.
Just know, voting for "The Fly" will result in a major tax cut for the rich-- and a hike on the poor. Think about it.
I believe, leaving the tax rate too low, for the poor, leads to complacency aka laziness. Should those WMT shopping fuckers get slapped with a 25% penalty for income under 100k, they might become motivated to "get on the road to prosperity," already.
I want to see those poor fuckers become rich, so that they may enjoy low tax rates, and buy stuff from SKS and BID.
With regards to defense:
As President, I will annex Mexico and Canada. Why fuck around with borders and political bullshit?
Look, this country needs more oil and cheap labor. Plus, when Mexico becomes part of the U.S., those border fuckers won't have anything to bitch over, with regards to "illegal aliens." However, on second thought, they probably will move down to the Guatemala-"New U.S." border, to bitch about those pesky Guatemalans getting in.
We'll deal with that problem later.
With regards to interest rates:
I will appoint Larry Kudlow as my Fed Reserve Chairman, thereby ensuring "Goldilocks" stays alive.
With regards to health care:
With Mexico and Canada under our belts, the uninsured health care crisis will be eliminated. With all the cheap labor available, "The Fly" will build many health clinics to treat the uninsured. The clinics will be maintained and funded by big pharma-- sorta of like big drug dealing locations for them. Thus, the health care will be free, paid for by PFE, MRK, LLY, etc. All you (U.S. voting fools) have to pay for is "medicine insurance," which will be very, very cheap-- thanks to the cheap drugs being made in "Old Mexico."
Finally, as President or Presidente (depending on where you live), "The Fly" will use the U.S. treasury as one big sovereign fund. Meaning: I will "day trade" or invest the treasury in publicly traded stocks, becoming a nightmare to all short sellers of the world. I will have my staff run a daily list of the most heavily shorted stocks and buy those companies out for triple digit premiums, effectively transferring the assets from bearshitter to bullshitter-- rather seamlessly.
The one caveat to my Presidency is anonymity. Yes, "The Fly" will remain anonymous during his term as President, in an effort to conduct personal assaults on foreign leaders, without fear of repercussions.
If "The Fly" was Presidente back in 2003, prior to the war with Iraq, I, under the secrecy of anonymity, would have had personal (one on one) discussions with Saddam Hussein. During my diplomatic mission, whenever he would mouth off some shit like "death to America" or "fuck you and your nukes," I would have punched his fucking mustache clean off his face, demanding information as to the whereabouts of all those fucking weapons-- and shit.
Then, 15 minutes later, I, as President, would call Saddam and apologize for my "Ambassador's" unprofessional diplomacy. You know, punching his mustache off and all.
I would use these "tactics" over and over again, until every world leader was "mustache-less."
Fly for President, 2008.
You have my vote.
the best part = "I want to see those poor fuckers become rich, so that they may enjoy low tax rates"
Jefferson K. for VP. Howard for Sec. Treasury. Maybe we can steal Fucktard away from Hill. With your platform of "milking the farmer..every last drop"-you could gain serious momentum in Iowa.
Made my first purchase at Sam's--I've alway gone to Costco. Place was kind of dumpy comparatively. Did not appear to matter, 6 deep all the way across.
I'd say WMT pe should expand. If it doesn't, hang on.
Guatemala's Massive Border Wall Fails to Stop Hordes of Illegal Immigration from North
Now we know why Fly is buying SRS.
I also predict that "The Fly" ends up spending his entire presidency aboard a permanently in-flight Air Force One-- or inside a secret lunar fortress.
A second thought would be to eliminate the Department of Health and Human Services and/or HUD and replace it with the Department of Frisbees and Good Times.
In order to raise revenue The Fly could give away signing rights to some of the Government monuments. Examples would be The Lincoln Monument brought to you by Viagra or US Congress building by Tampex tampons.
That sinched & clinched it -
Fly 4 el prezidente 2008 !!
although I wouldn't mind a constitutional amendment outlawing palladium supercycles or maybe just palladium, period.
Bicycling while talking on a cell phone should also be illegal. Otherwise, I'm installing a chain gun on my car.
1. Were you the genius, as head of the council of econmic advisors, behind Gerald Ford's button program WIN (Whip Inflation Now)?
2. Why did you let the technology bubble proceed 1998-2000?
3. Why did you allow interest rates to get so low after 2002 to let the housing bubble proceed?
4. Is Andrea Mitchell good in the sack?
A: Because BIDU has punched the mustaches off of everybody in the country at least once.
Mariachi is a Mexican musical genre, or an apparatus for the detection of ultra-high-energy cosmic rays (Mixed Apparatus for Radar Investigation of Cosmic-rays of High Ionization, aka MARIACHI).
2. Instead of punching that bad guy's mustache off, why wouldn't you just put a gun to his head and extract one stock pick from him before pulling the trigger?
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