Sunday, July 08, 2007


The Important Matter of Shopping Mall Barbers

As you know, "The Fly" fired his last Japanese barber, due to insane price gouging. So, in the spirit of not giving a fuck and acting "low IQish," I decided to get my hair cut by some weird old Italian dude, at my local mall.

Mistake number one.

The place was a complete pigsty, with about 100 barber chairs, filled with "shopping mall fucktards," and middle aged hatfuckers.

Frankly, under normal high IQ conditions, "The Fly" wouldn't spit at this barber shop, let alone get his fucking hair cut inside it.

Anyway, I sat down and the man who was assigned to me asked if I wanted a "number 2 or number 3," referring to his chopping machine, which he readily destroys perfectly good hair with.

I replied: "I don't want my hair to be cut with razor clippers, instead use a pair of scissors."

Mistake number 2.

To summarize a fucking nightmare experience, this guy left me looking like I have down syndrome or some shit.

Not only did he trim my side burns; he eliminated them. The back of my head has been mangled-- and the top resembles a pineapple.

After sitting in his disgusting chair for 15 minutes, I had enough and asked for mercy.

For 12 bucks, minus the tip, I had my hair destroyed by some shopping mall misfit.

I'm sure under different circumstances, I would have raised hell and left that old fucker with the shakes. However, on this day, "The Fly" was to leave the shopping mall, tame, looking like a fucking pineapple-- minus the delicious fruity part.

Shortly thereafter, I buzzed my hair down to fuzz.

Now, I look like a fucking skin head, minus the Nazi bullshit.

UPDATE: Danny's fired, mainly due to poor work ethic. It was a long time coming. Come on.

bummer. it'll grow. hang in there.
It'll make my stocks go higher. Watch.

have crude weekend blog next week.
lmao classic shit!

I had the same shit happen to me and the wife started laughing hysterically when she saw me, said I got a "girl haircut". Ended up shaving my head too and kept it shaved ever since.


Great writing, you have a gift!

Sorry about the buzz cut, I know how you feel. Back in High school, I let my buddy cut my hair, and the end result was the same. I wanted to stab him in the eye with his shitty pair of scissors.
darn it all to heck. I did have a post, just never posted it. Now it has vanished!
Same shit happened to me this weekend in my local park slope 100 yr old barber shop. Side Burns gone, too short, and poorly trimmed around the ears. At least it was a good experience to sit in one of those 100K old school barber chairs, listen to Sinatra and look at pictures of Joe DiMaggio on the wall. Fly, I am assuming you went to the SI mall, in times of desperation I suggest you go
to Mikes Shop (bunch of Russians) on Hylan blvd in between Wiman and Armstrong.
CEO of MyVu on CNBC with their fucked up iPod headgear. Just shows you how fucking strong the demand is for this shit. PicoP will rock this shit.
I think maybe you should short 100 shares of CWTR at the open. That action along with your haircut could replace Oatmeal for the week. Can your Haircut be any worse than Guy Adami's? yikes.

I can see your upset with Danny- but hey I'd like to see you after a week with no internets, hot water or shaving equipment.

Any reason ARWR is moving up so much this morning? The chart looked fantastic on Friday.
What a waste of 12 bucks. When my hair gets too long I just get drunk and cut it myself. Probably do as well as the goof who butchered you and I still have my sideburns.
Could this be the Fly?
You can solve all your haircutting issues with one purchase......
LONDON (Dow Jones)--Orient-Express Hotels LTD (OEH), the company that owns the eponymous train and some of the world's most luxurious hotels, is being tipped as the next bid target in a sector attracting private equity interest, The Times reported Saturday without citing sources.

Financial predators, including an unnamed U.S. hedge fund and Sharewood Capital, which has a 4% stake, are understood to have checked out the New York-listed group in recent months, the newspaper reported.

Blackstone Group (BX) and Morgan Stanley (MS) are also have thought to have looked at the business, according to the paper.
Let's squeeze them Fly!
Hey Fly, here's a clue. Don't go to a barber shop for haircuts. Don't go anyplace where their weapon of choice is electric clippers.

I used to operated a dozen 'haircutting' salons in Miami which were beauty shops that also cut men's hair, you know, 'unisex salons.'

Clue #2: Get a chick hairdresser to cut your hair.
danny sucks - it is about time you got rid of him - for friggin good.
I just woke up late because I was up getting ready for a presentation today and find my portfolio exploding. Feels real niiice. Thanks fly. + a couple of my picks are "mushrooming" the shorts. PHLI.ob, HYGS.ob, and ASTI.
Should MVIS close above 5.10, take comfort in knowing that it will be "off to the fucking races" the remainder of the week.

Nice pick on AZZ.
You're the da genius..again.
The Fly joined the Army. Who knew.

A mall cut is always a bad choice.

Would you pay a little extra now for a skilled stylist to groom your hair properly or continue to take chances with a hair dresser working for roman wage at a mall?
What did this man's hair look like who scalped you? That must of been a signal.

Another weekend slave goes down.
Well, now Danny can put down on his resume of intern blogger at "Fly on WallStreet".

Who's next?
You look like a little bitch "fly" with that cut.
COOL is mushrooming the shorts! brent, nice picks on HYGS and ACEL. HANS and MVIS up too? shit, could be a wicked day!
crude broker in weekend blogging spot...
Its about time you got rid of Danny.
Hey kc equity trader, That was the point of my most. Stylists ARE hairdressers. Barbers are not hairdressers.

Ask your 'stylist' how he/she was trained and you'll see what I mean.
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