Fly on WallStreet

Angelo Mozilo, CEO of CountryWide Financial

This just in:

"Dear Shareholders,

As you know, I have been "dumping" stock on the open market, while handing out loans to OTB/Sub-Prime guy's. Over the last few decades, my obsessive tanning routine has led to the baking of my brains and roasting of my balls, so my shrink says.

Proudly, I've managed this company with the same vigor and lending standards as the Italian Mafia, minus all the broken legs and collar bones. Needless to say, I am confident CFC will tan its way to a new all time high, after hitting new lows (my editor says that sentence is incoherent. I believe he is lying).

My main concern, naturally, is to tan my ass and face, until my DNA is altered to reflect my "tropical aura."

Speaking of tropical, as the mortgage meltdown commences, I will be visiting the Island of Puerto Rico, where I will sip, profusely, many pina colada's, while taking in some long overdue rays.

Finally, the point of this note is to tell you how cool my new tanning machine is, while informing you how "uncool" the mortgage's are.

Sorry Dude, I have to go see about a new lotion.

Later.

'Gelo."