Monday, August 13, 2007
Special Emergency Update: I'm Retiring/Elections Complete
While it has been a real treat guest blogging for the maniacal, yet benevolent dictator known as Fly, it is time for me to retire, effectively allowing me to enjoy my weekends, again.
As I feel strongly that my departure will mark a mediocre, yet inspiring period for the blogosphere, I feel a short history is in order.
When I was first hired, in February or early March, I enjoyed the privilege of being the first guest blogger ever offered the generous rewards associated with a tenure at this site. I quickly brought to it some chart-chomping goodness (more?) and errors and miscalculations. Sadly, when I took a weekend off, I was promptly shitcanned. I should note that I was replaced by Ducati. Oh, the irony!
I did not receive the benefit of election.
Later, perhaps six weeks or so, I was finally given benefit of election, although I had not blogged here since my original termination. As you can see, I handily dispatched the other candidates.
Over time, while watching the other guest bloggers come and go, I developed a sixth sense for what the readers of this blog are truly wanting. Recently, this sixth sense lead to me besting the youthful and cool skater-dude Danny, landing the Supreme Weekend Blogger Award, despite me having no film-making skills, and being old and washed-up. Sorry about that Danny.
Well, it is certain that I have presided over a historic time, and am truly deserving of the last 10 days afforded me by Fly. It seems though that I should focus on my own blog, since attendance is dropping rapidly. Furthermore, my wife is coming to hate all that is Fly. She hates competing with anonymous internets men and keyboards. Therefore, I must retire, leaving you in the questionable hands of the next guest blogger.
My time here has been satisfying. I thank you all for reading.
As I feel strongly that my departure will mark a mediocre, yet inspiring period for the blogosphere, I feel a short history is in order.
When I was first hired, in February or early March, I enjoyed the privilege of being the first guest blogger ever offered the generous rewards associated with a tenure at this site. I quickly brought to it some chart-chomping goodness (more?) and errors and miscalculations. Sadly, when I took a weekend off, I was promptly shitcanned. I should note that I was replaced by Ducati. Oh, the irony!
I did not receive the benefit of election.
Later, perhaps six weeks or so, I was finally given benefit of election, although I had not blogged here since my original termination. As you can see, I handily dispatched the other candidates.
Over time, while watching the other guest bloggers come and go, I developed a sixth sense for what the readers of this blog are truly wanting. Recently, this sixth sense lead to me besting the youthful and cool skater-dude Danny, landing the Supreme Weekend Blogger Award, despite me having no film-making skills, and being old and washed-up. Sorry about that Danny.
Well, it is certain that I have presided over a historic time, and am truly deserving of the last 10 days afforded me by Fly. It seems though that I should focus on my own blog, since attendance is dropping rapidly. Furthermore, my wife is coming to hate all that is Fly. She hates competing with anonymous internets men and keyboards. Therefore, I must retire, leaving you in the questionable hands of the next guest blogger.
My time here has been satisfying. I thank you all for reading.
Comments:
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Jeremy, no, it is more along the lines of the departure of Breakfast Taco.
Unlike Kidstock, I am not about to blow myself up in a couple of weeks, trading options.
Unlike Kidstock, I am not about to blow myself up in a couple of weeks, trading options.
Perhaps the greatest guest blog entry ever posted, possibly even rivaling the weekday best of Broker A (formally known as The Fly prior to DIVX, MATH, ARWR, MCHX, and PreMOT-MVIS). We shall retire your moniker on a pennant with tribute in the left field bleachers.
I ungraciously accept your resignation.
Although, it's worth noting, I will leave your name on my blog, like an ornament, for 13 more days.
To pay you for services rendered, I will destroy Ducati's country.
Although, it's worth noting, I will leave your name on my blog, like an ornament, for 13 more days.
To pay you for services rendered, I will destroy Ducati's country.
whoa whoa whoa, who said anything about pay? As long as you got the green laser fired up, aim it at Montana and destroy SWC.
No. I demand he talk about SWC, with all the spam trimmings.
It will be classic.
Get me JJ.
Where is that fucktard (looking under sheet of paper)?
It will be classic.
Get me JJ.
Where is that fucktard (looking under sheet of paper)?
Remember, every time I don't get shitcanned, it is equal to shitcanning Ducati.
As for JJ, I think he should go head to head with Ducati. He is equally persistant, at least.
As for JJ, I think he should go head to head with Ducati. He is equally persistant, at least.
You know what each hole in a violin is called? An F hole. And you know what you can do with an F hole...
You cannot stay up longer than I, fuckface.
As you know, "The Fly" is not human and does not need the comfort of pillows and beds.
So, while you sleep and get ready to punch a fucking clock, I'll be *updating* this here post.
Viz.
Jog on.
As you know, "The Fly" is not human and does not need the comfort of pillows and beds.
So, while you sleep and get ready to punch a fucking clock, I'll be *updating* this here post.
Viz.
Jog on.
You will be sorry tomorrow that you chose to engage me in this manner. You do not understand whom you are battling.
You don't even have the *bottle* to erase the violin man. What makes me think you can exact revenge and challenge my hegemony?
Yes, but then I will have to live with the association.
By the way, this quite honestly is one of the single worst violinists that I have looked at. This is a pure disaster waiting to happen.
By the way, this quite honestly is one of the single worst violinists that I have looked at. This is a pure disaster waiting to happen.
I have already paid that price. My blog traffic is drying up. Pretty soon, there will be tumbleweeds rolling around there.
These elections violate the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution as they deny old fuckers equal protection under the laws. These elections are always held late at night when we are asleep. After all the early bird specials are usually 4-6PM.
We will not file suit in Federal Court for inujuctive relief (and substantial damages) if provisions are made for absentee ballots.
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We will not file suit in Federal Court for inujuctive relief (and substantial damages) if provisions are made for absentee ballots.
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