Fly on WallStreet

About a week ago, I alerted the readers of this blog that I was buying 2,000 CHS @ $25.70, because I thought it was "cheap." The problem with my analysis was that I did not take into account upper management at Chico's were (and still are) complete fucking morons-- unable to run a popsicle stand, let alone a major clothing franchise for chicks with money.

Prior to Chico's castration last week, knifing to the $17's, officially "Urban Outfitted," I was shopping at my local mall and stopped by one of their stores. To my surprise, it was completely empty. The store looked nice, the employees were cordial, the merchandise was high-end, but the foot traffic was dead.

Now it is clear to me.

Chico's will continue to suck wind, because the consumer is DEAD. There I said it.

The people who shop at Chico's (chicks with money) are loyal. The only reason for them not to go out shopping is because their husband's have confiscated their debit cards or they are slowing down their insane shopping spree's-- in order to save a little money for a later date.

Bottom line: The economy is slowing and people know it. I will be staying far away from any retailer for quite some time.

The percentage loss in Chico's will represent the largest loss in years for me. However, I will learn from it and try my hardest to make sure it doesn't happen again. That's all I can do-- after such a disaster. Sell and move on.

NOTE: It appears Hurricane Ernesto has been downgraded to a Tropical Storm. My early guess is for a sell off in energy related stocks and commodities. However, Ernesto can easily regain its Hurricane status and blow the tops off the rigs in the GOM. If so, I will be a big buyer of NGAS, NGS, GLBL and BEXP.

Now, I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist. However, if I were trying to bring this market down, and had billions at my disposal (thank God everyday I do not), I could crush this market by selling treasuries. Hence, driving rates through the fucking roof.

Suddenly, I look at the market and sense fear and pessimism. Late in the day, I had my fucking trader/servant sell some bullshit stocks, in order to raise money. Sorry for the lack of "Fly Sell Alerts." I was busy being smart.

Additionally, I have a bunch of short sale candidates to mull over, which I will share shortly.

Irregardless of the current direction of the market, this whole interest rate panic is a rouse. That's right, they (the mysterious people who push the big buttons) are fucking you (the retard investor), again.

Aside from all this fun talk, MRVL and the fat fucks at MCD did well. As a matter of fact, technology stocks held up great, considering how fucked everything else was.

In short, it makes sense to raise cash and wait out the manipulators, who now reside in the bond market--elbow deep in shit. Also, it makes sense to be long dollars and short commodity related stocks, during this fucking scam. Oil, Steel, Euro's and Utilities are all fucked. However, a good ol' fashioned category 5 hurricane can change everything, rather abruptly.

Aside from wishing for swift destruction of LAZ's share price, "The Fly" is focused, like an internet laser beam, on the tropical activity in the Atlantic.

As fucked up as it seems, a 'Cane of Death' is exactly the type of distraction the market needs, you know, to get the gambling hand shaking again. Again, here is my speculative watch list.

From what I understand, a hurricane hunter will be flying into the depression, within a few hours. Should the data suggest Florida is fucked, I'll be buying natty stocks with two hands.

As for today's trading:

It's gay, why bother? Lots of downward pressure, particularly in the financials. Don't be a hero and step in now. As you know, hero's get shot first.

It's worth noting strength in biotech and steel, but not much. In my opinion, the quick money is to be made on the downside, via SRS, QID or short LAZ (or a financial of your choosing). Should that tropical depression "get its swirl on," look for the market to rally.

Bunch of sick fuckers in this market place.

UPDATE: TD4 has been upgraded to Tropical Storm Dean.

NOTE: Please take the new "Fly Survey." Are you bullish or bearish on the market?

Hat tip: Wunderground

Little do you know, "The Fly" trades hurricanes like a "weather room magician." I have all sorts of satellite imagery in my office, with sophisticated models-- showing where these fucking hurricanes will hit and why.

From what I understand, the tropical depression fiddling around in the Atlantic is going to "get its swirl on," within a few short days. Moreover, that son of a cunt will flatten your house, providing you are dumb enough to live down south, as if it were made of pancakes.

Upon confirmation from my people, that the "Cane of Death" will strike, immediately, I will buy some UNG, NGAS, BEXP, NGS, GMXR, FUEL, GGR, TXCO, BXC, GSX, BDCO and ALJ to get started; then I'll call some friends in Florida and tell them to head north.

In short, playing the "hurricane game" from the luxury of a dry office in NYC is fun, but tedious. Mother Nature is not as predictable as Mother Market, obviously.

Developing...

Unlike people who buy stocks, "bearshitters" are in the game for something extra. They want the entire country to collapse and "shit the shower."

Now, I'm not talking about your run of the mill plunger. You know, the "smart guy" with an edge, looking to make a quick buck, via driving a stock lower.

No.

I'm talking about the guy, like Doug "fuckbag" Kass, who wants the whole system to come crashing down. "Let it all come down, girls."

I know these people. At heart, truly, they are asshats, skeptical of everything from their electricity bill to the price of tea in China town.

Most of them are unable to view things objectively. Instead, they have static opinions on important topics ranging from "how to smoke crack" to "investing alongside armageddon," relying on what they consider to be sheer "intellect," when making financial decisions, rather than foolhardy optimism. Sort of like evil robots, or gremlins who have eaten past 12:00 am.

As you know, all these fuckers want is massive unemployment, followed by death and mayhem, in order to bank a little coin.

Now, don't get me wrong, "bullshitters" have their own vices, such as "wishcasting" for hurricanes or "playing the war," via defense stocks.

In short, my point is: Doug Kass is a dick and should be caught kayaking in the Gulf of Mexico, while a fucking Category 5 hurricane comes barreling in, slamming him into a few hundred offshore oil rigs-- effectively allowing "The Fly" to bank a little coin in UNG.

I bought 10,000 NGAS @ $7.10.

Disclaimer: If you buy NGAS because of this post, Hurricane Dean will destroy your house. And, you may lose money.

Last week, many hedge funds were forced to liquidate positions they didn't want to sell. As a result, many stocks were walked down, as if they were loaning money to trailer park owners.

For example: Look at HANS.

A few week's ago, HANS blew out their estimates, sending the stock from $42-49. Post sub prime blow up, the stock went below $41.

Wrong.

In my opinion, without doubt, HANS is going back to $49--now up $1.28 to $43.40.

As you know, currently, many stocks are undervalued and should be bought. However, it's also worth noting, that doesn't mean shit from shingles--if the market starts nosediving, again.

In short, you have to have a fucking "calculator brain" to figure this asshattery out. I'm sorry to disappoint, but most of you are better qualified to fix a flat tire, than fuck around with stocks and bonds-- and other stuff like that (Reminder: despite "The Fly's" 3rd grade writing style, he is still smarter than you).

As for the Hurricane Front:

Forget about Dean. I'm on to bigger and more deadlier storms. 92L is making its way towards Florida and is thirsty for some light sweet crude. Naturally, I really don't know my dick from a doorknob--when it comes to the "global warmed" weather patterns. However, using simple probability formula's, I can tell you: the GOM is going to have its rigs eaten for it.

So, as a result, I feel it makes sense to buy more UNG, FUEL, NGAS, GLF, BEXP, NGS and maybe a little TRGL.

NOTE: LNN is my top pick.

NOTE II: I realize, not once did I mention retail, despite it being my "sector spotlight." I changed my mind. Plus, I was too lazy to change the title, despite spending 30x more time giving you (internet leech) a ridiculous explanation. So, fuck you.

I've owned BXC for a long time. Frankly, the stock sucks.

However, during the Katrina debacle, the stock soared, as demand for lumber went through the fucking roof.

Don't quote me on this, but I believe BXC is the biggest distributor of lumber and sheet rock in the country. If not the biggest, they are pretty darn big-- with 4.5 billion in sales. They supply HD and LOW.

Should this year's hurricane season destroy the country or lumber prices start going up, BXC will be in play.

I've been out of pocket all day, not really giving a fuck about the market or you. I suspect there will be little change in the market, until the Fed meeting on the 18th.

Looking at some of my positions, I see UNG spiked hard, despite dire warnings of "mafia rigged pricing" in the comments section of this site. God willing, my weatherman will inform me of a pending "hurricane of happiness," which will send UNG back to $50.

Also, iiG shit the shower, and is now at its do or die line in the sand. MVIS is boring the feathers off my Voodoo Doctor's pet chickens and AZZ is done.

On the bright side, AAPL, RIMM, FXI, LEH, OEH, SNDK, LNN, GME and HANS look "Fly worthy."

In short, over the next few weeks, I will have to rebalance my portfolios to reflect the current environment. This means, biting the bullet, taking some losses-- and initiating new positions that better suit a slow growth environment.

In the meantime, I am going to the gym. You know, to work off the fat cat days of early 2007. As you know, "The Fly" despises fat people, so it makes lots of sense not becoming one.

No pun intended.

Just now, my weatherman said Hurricane Dean will be a Cat5 storm by Monday.

Thus far, there is no way of knowing where this reverse jackpot "Deacon of Death" will land. However, I find it hard to imagine any trader being short natural gas, going into the weekend. As a result, I've been buying UNG, GLF, NGAS, NGS, FUEL and GMXR.

Here is the latest picture, taken by my weatherman, from the luxury of his dumb ass helicopter.

Right out the gates, Mother Market is hacking away at my market positions. The market gaps lower and ATHR caught an upgrade. I fucking hate when that happens.

I mean, what is the fucking odds of such events occurring? Just yesterday, I sold most of my inverse ETF's-- and held my ATHR and BRCM shorts. What do I get for my market prowess? A fucking sharp knife in the ear is what I get.

Max pain on ATHR has been reached. I will be covering my short and moving on to another painful endeavor.

As for today's trading:

Today, everything is being taken down by the hinges, excluding oil. Despite the Tom Brown Mortgage disaster, I feel the market is a buy-- right now. I understand the ramifications of LEND, NEW and the entire sub-prime market-- falling by the wayside. However, it's worth noting, "The Fly" has never really counted on the poor fuckers of America--to help out the economy.

I mean, those fuckers are too busy ordering coffee at Dunkin' Donuts, than to pay their mortgage bills on time. Hey, it's not my fault people are fucktarded and can't afford stuff. Those sub-prime fuckers ought to get on the internets, like me, and make an extra $100 per month-- by blogging until their fingers fall off.

Today, Eric "The Oil Barrel" Bolling must be happy, because oil is up. Moreover, oil stocks look pretty damn good. If you are not in Energy related stocks, now is a great time to position in, ahead of the driving season.

Right here, I like VLO, SU, GMRK, GMXR and alternative energy play NEU. Plus, before you know it, the hurricane season is upon us, wiping out key natty and oil facilities.

Good times.

Finally, on this dip, I will be buying MVIS, DIVX and CENX.

Half way through the year and "The Fly" is still holding onto a 30% return (preliminary numbers), year to date. Albeit, I was up 40%+ a few short weeks ago. However, thanks to fucktarded declines in ARWR and MVIS, I gave back a little.

No big deal.

What's important to know is that I intend to crush the cover off the ball, for the remainder of the year.

Thus far, I have enjoyed monster gains in NTRI, BWLD, RIMM, LNN, MVIS, FMCN, HANS, JCG, EQIX, AAPL, MCHX, UPL, VLO, GILD, FXI and GME.

My biggest disappointments have been NYX and ARWR.

For the most part, I have very little exposure in ARWR (I sold a bunch). However, I am still long the fuckers at the NYX.

As you know, energy stocks have ripped higher, as oil prices press new highs. Because of the current price per barrel, coupled with the prospect of hurricanes this summer, I have been adding to my VLO position.

Admittedly, I have not capitalized on the energy run, like I should have.

Finally, it's time to scour the market for second half plays.

Without using my "calculator brain," I'd say stick with hurricane plays and semiconductors. However, over the weekend, I will do some high IQ thinking-- and figure this asshattery out.

NOTE: I think Danny will give us another half hazzard attempt at weekend blogging, sometime this weekend.

As you know, my weatherman is "out and about" searching for "money making hurricanes," in the GOM.

From the vantage point of his bullshit helicopter, he tells me there is "no chance" for significant "money making opportunities," with regards to "pending Canes of horror."

As you know, "global warming" is stopping the formation of hurricanes in the GOM, as all of Earth's hot air hangs out in the North Pole--and shit like that.

In short, natty is not ready to move yet.

NOTE: Considering my weatherman's ridiculously bad track record (he said Katrina would "melt away/not a single rain drop will fall" on New Orleans) "94l" may be the biggest future hurricane known to mankind.

To me, the no brainer trade, off of wheel barrow dollar weakness, is to stay long the metals and oils.

Just in case you are new to this planet, when the dollar goes lower, dollar denominated commodities go higher.

True story.

With that being said, I can't help but think VLO is a screaming buy here, up to $80.

Additionally, I like my chances with RS and other metal stocks.

Keep in mind, higher oil prices should not be ignored as a non event. There will be a material effect on the consumer and restaurant goers.

So, it makes sense to hedge the higher oil price via staying long high quality oil stocks.

Natty is more of a hurricane play and seems like dead money, as of now.